I know I'm pagan, but...

I had some deep thoughts today.

I was thinking about the Bible. Christians use it to defend their faith, their beliefs, their actions... But if the entire book is Holy, how do they know which parts to disregard? How do they know what commands to follow, and which ones are 'outdated'? There are lots of things that are just thrown out. How can anything written by the Holy Spirit be disregarded?

For instance, stoning is not a common punishment anymore, but it says to do it under certain circumstances in the Bible.

Maybe it is meant as a guide, and not to be taken literally. But if that's true, why is the Bible always stated as fact?

I don't want this to be misunderstood. I think a lot of what Jesus had to teach is valid. In fact, he and I agree on quite a bit. He taught compassion, equality, loving another as yourself, and to have great tolerance.

However, these beliefs are now looked at as liberal by most Christians. Not in words, but in actions. For instance, why have a debate on homosexuality? If humans aren't to judge one another, we can't make that decision. We are to be there, with tolerance and compassion, to support our fellow human being. Look at how Jesus treated the thieves. He did not judge them, or ban them from the Kingdom of Heaven. Now if someone, that broke one of the Ten Commandments, was treated with such kindness from Jesus himself, how do we compare? How dare we use His words to further our own gains? That is NOT what he preached. That is NOT what his actions showed us.

It frustrates me to no end that Christians will throw the Bible around like a shield, but not bother to read it themselves. Yes, this is a blanket generalization. I know there are true Christians out there. But look at what the media shows us. "Conservative Christians" is the term, I think. I wonder what 'conservative' applies to. Using as little of the Bible as possible? I am condemned for my liberal views, while these leaders are the ones that should be my example of the Bible's teachings. Doesn't that make them hypocrites? How does that get you into the Kingdom of Heaven?


(All of this started cuz I got sucked into a rerun of Dawson's Creek, while channel surfing. See? TV does make us do things. Bad TV.)

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*happy dance*

I love my bloggy friends. One in particular. She just became fake filthy rich over on Blogshares, and felt the need to gift me 25 million. How freaking cool is that???

I am fake rich!! Not filthy yet, but getting there.

Thanks, Cricket!!

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Too perfect.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.


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Well, that's just great.

So.

Psycho bitch reared her scary head again. I'm supposed to go out tonight with a really good friend, have a really good time, and return home in a really good mood.

Be afraid, friend. Be very afraid.

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I apologize

Sorry guys. I am going to try what was suggested by Pretty College Girl. This means y'all have to enter a code to leave a comment. A hassle, I know, but I don't want any more real estate people knocking on my blog's door.

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Do-Not-Call list

Is there a No Spam list I can join to keep these freaks out of my comments?

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#28 through #36 of my 100 compliments

Yesterday, I was visiting a fellow Summer of Compliments participant -Cyli- and she had a lot of great sites listed. I've added a few to my blogroll, and I also think they deserve to be complimented. Thanks for the tip, Cyli!!

The Sneeze. Wow. It's rare that a blog can make me laugh the first time I visit, but this one did. I need to spend some time looking at all the other stuff on here.

Query Letters I Love. These are great. Failed script ideas. Too funny. I almost feel sorry for the people in Hollywood that have to go through all the bad ideas to find the good ones. At least, this person found something creative to do with them!!

Postsecret. I can't believe I didn't mention this one before. It's wonderful people have a place to unburden themselves. Genius idea!

For F*cks Sake!. She is very witty. I read all the posts on the first page, and will dig into the archives. She sounds like the kind of person I would like to hang out with in real life. Plus, who can fault anyone with great hair?

Dear Abby's Waste Bin. Oh hell yes! It's about time someone addressed the pathetic/desperate/morons in this fashion.

Captain Picard's Journal. I'm a geek. I freely admit it. And as such, I get the biggest kick from this blog. Especially since it isn't just Jean-Luc that posts. There are posts from Q and Geordi... Too cool!

Bubblehead. Anyone that can make my ex-Navy man laugh, scores major points with me! Plus, I get to understand that part of his life now. Thank you.

Big Time Drama in the Adjoining Cubicle. Oh yeah! This goes right along with "Overheard in New York" and "Overheard in the Office" (check my sidebar). I love love love crazy funny silly weird snippets of real people's conversations.

Where the Hell Was I?. This dude is an aspiring stand-up comic, and he has my vote! He was cracking me up in his profile section! That says something. Also, I have to admire someone that doesn't stay bogged down at a job he hates, and was able to pick a wife that'll move right along with him.

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Poem for girls (email gift)

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!

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Eeek!

So, apparently there was an earthquake last night. In NC or the border of NC and TN...
That explains why my house shook last night.

Did I ever mention that earthquakes terrify me?

We used to live in Anchorage, AK, and I felt tremors all the time. One of the reasons why we moved.

I know it is very rare for the earth to open up, and swallow a house or whatever whole, but I fear being buried alive. Something Poe and I have in common. And even if it doesn't swallow my house, what if the house collapses and I get buried that way?

And I just found out today (and wish I hadn't) that the Appalachians are on a fault line, and there are tiny earthquakes all the time.

My first impulse is to run. But I love where I live, and all my freaky friends...

Guess I have to face this fear, eh? How? How do I stop being scared of waking up in a coffin unable to get out? How do I get to the point where I'm okay with that happening?

Any tips?

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Why?

How can two people be so compatible in bed, but just can't get their timing right to get there? Wouldn't it be easier if they both wanted it at the same time? Why does it have to be so hard?

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About time my talents were noticed!!

Get your position here

Thanks, Cyli!

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Did you know...

there is actually a song titled "People are stupid"??? I didn't ,but I can assure you I will be burning it to disc soon.

People Are Stupid
by 30 Foot Fall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm surrounded by Idiots everyday
Frustrated by the games that people play
Confused by what the t.v says I need
Lost in space and ugly too
people act like they've been sniffing glue
Never questioning the things that they believe
Freedom of choice must be a joke
just look at all the people that cannot cope
I've got something I want to say to them
There's a lot of stuff that I can do
That doesn't mean I have to impose on you
If you take offense to common sense
That's your problem
I can do what I want
Listern to some Slayer and play nintendo all night long
Racism sucks and so do you
If you hate somebody cause they're not like you
And that goes for homophobia, zenophobia, and classism too
I can sit around and masturbate
have different coloured friends that I don't hate
It doesn't matter if you don't approve
I can stick my finger up my nose
Never take a bath or change my clothes
And my underarms can ruin someone's day
I can ride a float in the gay parade
Terrorize the christian right for a day
And Sing homophobes are just pissed 'cause they can't get laid
I can do what I want
Go to school and read the necronomicon
I can do what I want

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The day I ran screaming for my vehicle to play the most 'evil' song I could find

Last Saturday we had a family outing. Little Diva brought home a paper that told us fantabulous things like games, sno cones, some kind of slide, hot dogs, etc. were happening. And it was all free!!! My kind of outing (as long as I don't have to eat the hot dogs). Here's the real bonus: it was local!! At some Lutheran church...

Normally, as a pagan, I try not to venture into 'enemy camp'. A lot of the stuff drives me crazy. I'm all for everyone having their own beliefs. It's when they begin to parrot what others told them, without any research of their own... That's when my brain feels on the verge of popping.

Anyhoo.

When we arrived, we saw very few children. We were told they were inside (with the AC) watching a clown. Wow! These people really went all out!! I followed my kid inside, and a few minutes later (if that), I walked back out into the heat. As soon as I saw this "clown" (painted face, red nose -- where was the goofy hair or outlandish clothes??) and heard him asking the children about getting into heaven, I had to leave. Again, clown guy can have whatever beliefs he wants, but how is that entertainment?? My husband described to me the ESP cards "clown" was using, and one of them had a picture of Jesus. The "clown" informed the young minds that, "Jesus was the name of all names".

I swear I almost went up and talked to him after his act. The book Christianity bases it's beliefs on, was written in Hebrew (mostly). And they did not consider Jesus to be the name of all names. In fact, they were unable to speak God's name. It was referred to as the Tetragrammaton. They would use other names that meant the same, but not as sacred. As a result, the true pronunciation has been lost through time. It was one of those words they didn't mark what the vowels were supposed to be. Why would they? They all knew His name.

I swallowed my urges, and remained pleasant. After all, I just wanted my kid to have a good time.

That's when she started playing games ...and winning prizes. And what prizes they were!! There was a stress ball to squeeze that is supposed to look like the Earth, but I can't find one familiar continent among the green splotches, and it says "He holds the whole world in his hands." And squeezes it??? Lots of stuff with WWJD slogans on it (pencils, etc). There was one very special prize. I had a giggle fit right there on the church lawn. It was this little coloring/activity book that said "Happy Birthday Jesus!" on the cover. I started paging through it. I was looking at this supposed-to-be holy children's coloring book, and I could not believe the humiliation they put Jesus through. For instance, there was a manger scene (obviously the birth of Jesus) with Mom, Dad, and Baby Jesus dressed in period clothing ...with a bunch of helium balloons above their heads! Another page was a maze - "Help the angels find Jesus". Yeah, cuz angels make a habit out of getting lost. And when did Jesus ever have birthday cake???

That book may have been the icing, but the cake was this puppy they were trying to give away. He was very very cute, as puppies always are ...from a distance. When he got close, it was apparent he had some sort of skin condition or disease or something. Also, when my husband pet it, he said it's little ribs were sticking out. He was too fluffy to see them w/o petting. And they wanted to give this poor little diseased puppy away?

Luckily, by that time, we were able to go. Neither one of us could take it anymore. We were laughing too hard at all the absurdities. And, to be honest, I didn't want to be overheard.

At least Little Diva had a good time!

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The Stella Awards

The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little Toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car while he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the rear end by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, OK. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not explaining in the owner's manual that cruise control isn't automatic pilot. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.


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Anyone else feeling off?

I was really looking forward to Mercury going Direct. These last few weeks have been really hard. This is surprising. Usually I can sail right through a Mercury Retrograde. Probably that hippie, go-with-the-flow outlook I have.

Not this time. I'm still feeling ...off.

Here's an example. Usually, if I am going to step outside to smoke, I'll grab one cigarette, the lighter, and head out the door. These past few weeks, I have started to grab just the one cig, and then I think to myself, "What if something pisses me off while I'm out there? I'll want to smoke more." So I grab all my cigs, and head out the door. What the hell is going to piss me off within 10 minutes of being outside -- by myself, no less?!?!

It's odd things like this that have me concerned.

I just wish I understood what was going on...

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I was driving along, just cruising, enjoying myself, enjoying the music I have cranked up...

I see something flying towards me. It's a piece of metal (thin, like an antenna, but still metal).

Picture 'debris' in the movie Twister.

I freak the fuck out, duck, and this thing slams into my windshield.

Now I have two spots of broken glass to look at while driving -- AND one is right in the middle of the driver's vision.

Yes, Cricket, I was having a bizarro day.

In case you haven't guessed already, this was while driving into no-brains-land yesterday.

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I would love to be on the giving end of this...

Who said men don't have a sensitive side?

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling --

"Well, how was it?"

The guy says..

















"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."


What kind of collection could I have that guys would be interested in? I would need a lot of bottom shelf stuff.

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I had to get up and leave early this morning. Remember the accident I had in Kentucky? Today was my court date. Mapquest timed it at 2hr 43min. (I made it in 2hr 8min.) The time to be there was 9:30am. I left here at 6:30am - That's only a 15 min cushion to allow for traffic, getting lost, etc.! I just HAD to make good driving time!! :D
When I was there early, I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to go inside, because courthouses always have that brain numbing quality about them. (Tangent: I really need to find a new book to read. I'm going crazy!!)

Picture the show Night Court, but with the sun shining. That's where I was today. Just not funny.

AND, of course, they are going in alphabetical order. My last name begins with a T. Oy! They finally get to S. I'm next! I'm next!
Oh wait. No, I'm not. They suddenly must take care of a court matter -- and all of us have to leave the room. Great.
The least they could do is to provide a smoking area, but noooooooo... If I wanted to do that, I'd have to ride the elevator down to the main floor, go out the front door... But I just knew that by the time I got back, court would be back in session, and I would have missed my "I'm next!" opportunity. Can't have that.

These are the times I wish I had a laptop. Anyone know of one they can donate to my cause?

While sitting on the floor in the hallway, (writing in my notebook, buffing my nails) I notice this guy. He looks like he's been through the court system SEVERAL times. And he's staring at me. S t a r i n g. My god, I know I'm hot, but dude needs to learn to be discreet. Then smart guy (ever so casually) walks past me, waits a minute or two, then turns back to resume his spot on the wall. Oh, but look!! He has chosen a place closer to me. Brilliant. Didn't see that coming. A few minutes later, he squats down. To be more on my level, I can only presume. Once again, he shows he has the Mensa Seal of Approval. Oh, surprise of surprises!! He moved again. Now we are sharing a corner. Like the view down my shirt? I know I do.

My question is this:If I'm hot enough for HIM to stare at, what makes him think I would lower my standards to suit him?

Final diagnosis: Courtrooms should have clocks.


Wow. That rambled.

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Something to check out

I'm breaking the unspoken blogging rule, and posting something on the weekend. *gasp!*
Nothing earth-changing though, just a couple cool links.

What happens when you drug spiders

(Tibetan?) Prayer wheels for the web

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I'm gettin' there...

I have reached my first million in total worth on Blogshares!

Yay me!! *throwing confetti*

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Do you want to buy me?

I am worth $1,579,046 on HumanForSale.com

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Eeek!

Oh! Something I totally forgot to share yesterday --

We were all getting up in the morning (husband getting ready for work and kidling getting ready for school). So maybe I should rephrase that. They were up. I was barely able to crawl out of bed. Suddenly, I hear this blood curdling scream, followed by terrified frantic sobbing. It was the Little Diva.
I gazed upon her little sobbing form through my sleepy vision. I couldn't see anything wrong.
She tells me something about a huge spider, and her leg. As you can imagine, she wasn't very articulate. I got the idea. My husband captures the spider under a glass, and slides an envelope under it (to set it free outside).
I look at it, and instantly start reassuring my daughter, "That's not a spider, sweetie. That's a cave cricket."
I was told I was wrong. I take a closer look, and lo, and behold, I was wrong! (Hey, stranger things have happened.)
If you have any idea what a cave cricket is, you have an idea how big the body was on this thing. It's front legs were crawling up the glass (which I mistook for antennae). I don't think I have ever seen a spider this big before!

So why was it anywhere near Little Diva, you ask? It was in her shoe. When she went to put her foot in, this thing scurried out. She backed up in the same direction it was running -- so, of course, she thought it was chasing her.

She calmed down relatively fast. I was impressed. You see, she insists she's afraid of spiders. Frankly, I don't believe her. She always comes up with these things to insist upon. For years, she insisted she didn't like mashed potatoes. (Untrue. All it took was seeing one of her little friends eating them.) Right now, she also insists that she doesn't like American cheese.(I don't know where she got that one.) We don't call her Little Diva for nothin'! - said with a drawl. (Woo hoo! A double negative!!)


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FSMism or IM??? (Read after FSM post)

While wearing my pirate gear, I found a strong contender for FSM. That's right: Intelligent Math.
Is it possible to worship both??? According to Intelligent Math, any equation is possible. Hmmm.
LINK

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FSMism

I have been soul searching for the right diety to worship. I am happy to announce I have found Him.

I am still in speechless awe of Him, so you'll have to read about Him for yourselves.
LINK

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Things that make you go ... uhhh, I don't get it.

I was thinking about the weird things we feel uncomfortable with in our relationships. Ya know, the things that just don't make sense if we use the logical part of our brains.

For instance: I do not have a problem pissing out a lovely yellow stream (on the toilet, of course) in front of my husband. Something that's thought of as unclean (Most people don't say, "Ooo, she's pissing. I wanna go down on her." [Yes, I said most.]).

But I don't want him to watch me give myself a quick wash before sex -- something that is very clean.

Why is that? Why do we have such weird idiosyncrasies in our relationships?

With other people, I would have no problem having sex with them, -- revealed in all my glory -- but I would not want them to see me anywhere near a toilet.



It's these strange musings that cause traffic jams on my brain waves.


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Hmmm... Funny? Accurate?

A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years. -- Harry S. Truman

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Like I needed another one... :D

So Cricket, (y'all know Cricket, right?) has introduced a brand new addiction. Shame on you, girl!!!

The new addiction: Blogshares

It's a fantasy stock market for blogs. You sign up, get $500, and you can begin to play. I was lucky. My addiction partner gifted me some shares. I quickly turned that $500 into $100,000. You can also claim your blog (which gives you 1000 shares in it).

Something I found out today (Did you know this, Cricket?): You have a maximum number of transactions in a 24 hour period. I was just introduced last night, and already I've maxed myself out!

Who knows? I may own shares in one of your blogs!


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Emailed wisdom

"It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle." --Linda Hogan, CHICKASAW

The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice. We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way. Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is. Everything that grows experiences conflict. When the deer is born it is through conflict. When the seed first grows, it is through conflict. Conflict precedes clarity. Everything has the seasons of growth. Recognize - acknowledge - forgive and change. All of these things are done through conflict.

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Opinions?

I've been playing with my template again...



If you go out of your mind, do it quietly, so as not to disturb those around you.


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Kids say the darnest things!

"Daddy, I think you and Mommy ... Well, not Mommy. I think you should go out to a bar."

"Why not Mommy?"

Sounding distressed, "Because! A bunch of guys will beg her to drink beer with them!!"

I burst out laughing.

My husband didn't help. He was saying, "Will you pleeeease drink beer with me???" I had to stop laughing before I could explain that guys just don't do that.

I then had to assure the Little Diva that I can take care of myself in a bar.

Still haven't found out why she wanted him to go to a bar. My best guess? She associates bars with singing (karaoke), and he likes to sing.

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HaHaHa!!!

This cracked me up.

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The "Good Old Days" - 1902

US Statistics for the year 1902:

The average life expectancy in the US was forty-seven (47).

Only 14 Percent of the homes in the US had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour.

The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the US took place at home.

Ninety percent of all US physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.

The five leading causes of death in the US were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30.

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

One in ten US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households in the US had at least one full-time servant or domestic.

There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire US.

Link

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2 more funny searches that found this blog

stupid gay stuff
vasectomy mistake pics

*laugh* Who knew?

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Funny little man

Thanks to Jin, I was directed to a site of Bushisms. I think if I was stoned I might understand some of the things he said.

Some of my favorites:

"You see, not only did the attacks help accelerate a recession, the attacks reminded us that we are at war." —George W. Bush, on the Sept. 11 attacks, Washington, D.C., June 8, 2005

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." —George W. Bush, Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"We expect the states to show us whether or not we're achieving simple objectives — like literacy, literacy in math, the ability to read and write." —George W. Bush, on federal education requirements, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"Well, we've made the decision to defeat the terrorists abroad so we don't have to face them here at home. And when you engage the terrorists abroad, it causes activity and action." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"If they pre-decease or die early, there's an asset base to be able to pass on to a loved one." —George W. Bush, on Social Security money held in private accounts, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, March 30, 2005

"In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible — whatever that means." —George W. Bush, on his time frame for shoring up Social Security, Washington D.C., March 16, 2005

"You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —George W. Bush, to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

And the stoned one:
"Because the — all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those — changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be — or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the — like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate — the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those — if that growth is affected, it will help on the red." —George W. Bush, explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005


There's more that I thoroughly enjoyed, but I figured you could find your own favorites. There are a lot more. I haven't even read all of them.

~Do not expand~