Damn it!

I missed my blogiversary! It was on Wednesday the 28th.
Weird. My blogiversary and my b-day are exactly a week apart. That's pretty damn cool.

So, one year ago, a pimp talked me into starting a blog. He seemed to think I had a lot to say. He was probably just sick of me bitching to him. *grin*

I started one, and I didn't know how long I would keep up with it. I thought it might just fizzle out. But, lo and behold, I'm still here, and -with the exception of the past couple weeks- I'm still going strong. I love my blog.

Back then, I was just a child in the blogosphere. Very new, with lots to learn. Now, I am eyeballs deep in the bloggy world. I know how to add things to my blog; I've changed the template a few times; I have several daily blog reads; and let's not forget Blogshares. I have grown and progressed as a blogger.

Back then, everyone was anonymous. I was anonymous. Now, I have some really good friends, and even plan on meeting up with one of them to have a girls' night out (or something like that). Back then, I never thought I would meet anyone off the internet. I didn't realize how well you can get to know someone by reading their blog. I do now. I love you, bloggy friends!!!!

I have been extremely glad I had this outlet over the past year. There have been some really pissed off moments, and also, some really happy giddy times. I'm thrilled that I have a record of all that happened. Remembering dates has never been a strong suit of mine, but now I can look something up and know when it happened. That's been really useful - more than I expected.

Thank you, blog pimp. I owe you one.

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Oh yeah.

I found this on PostSecret, and I think it is a fantastic idea!

I may try it...

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Oh, hello again

Wow. I haven't posted for a very long time.

I think it might be stress. I have friends that were in real danger from Rita. The bloggy friends from last time + one, and also some from around here. The last time anyone heard from the locals (as far as I know at this moment) was Friday morning. Luckily, they weren't in Rita's direct path - but still could have been affected by the tropical storms. They are sitting on the north side of Lake P.

Actually, the last we heard from my bloggy friends on the Gulf Coast was Friday, too...

Here's hoping they are alive, kickin' and doing good deeds.


As far as Little Diva goes, she has been behaving a lot better since the Big Scare. Once she realized how serious it was, she became just as terrified as I was. She hasn't been perfect by any means - but what child is? *grin* I haven't kept track, but I don't remember any lies this past week either. Maybe scaring the kid is something that should be done on a regular basis? Nah. I couldn't do that.

My sense of time last week was way off. By at least a day. I hope I didn't have anything I had to do last week, because I was officially without a clue. All week I felt like I was forgetting something, but never could figure out what it was. I must have checked my date book at least five times.

I'm hoping Time will return to me this week -- or at the very least, Days. So far, so good. I know it's Monday. I have somewhere to be Tuesday and Wednesday.
and this weekend, I'll be away.

Financial situation for the extras has improved, but not completely saved up. We have the room reserved for the Atlanta trip (don't have the money to pay for the room yet), our Invitational fee has been sent in, and Little Diva is registered. Now we need to find, work for, or whatever the money to make the trip to Atlanta (gas, food, and such - good thing it's only 3 1/2 to 4 hours away), hotel room, food while in Atlanta, and my fine from Kentucky. Ugh.

My birthday is coming up in a week and a half. My in-laws usually send me money (which I'll add to the pot). This year I really need cash. And a shower curtain - I hate mine. I need a shower curtain that is as transparent (clear, not colored) as possible. Hardly any light gets in there. I don't enjoy showering in the dark.

I am learning how to crochet. How cool is that?!?!? Well, I'm excited anyway. Little Diva wants to learn now. I took her sewing machine to a friend to see if she can figure out the (I think) tension problem. I'll find out on Tuesday. Once that's fixed, I can continue to teach her how to sew. There's lots I need to learn too. And I have a friend that is absolutely positively amazing with all crafts. AND she's willing to teach!!! That is so rare! (Yes, this is the same friend that is teaching me how to crochet.)

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Update

...on this crazy thing that is my life.

I spent the day either making myself sick with panic, or sleeping (to escape the panic).

During one of my escape naps, Child Services wakes me up by knocking on the door. Here's me still panicking, but trying not to show it - cuz that would be like admitting guilt, right?
He asks me some questions, fills out a form, etc. The whole time I'm wondering if he is going to tell me I lost my kid.

Eventually, he gets around to telling me he isn't too concerned. He went to Little Diva's school today, and spoke with her. We must have impressed upon her this morning how serious her dramatics were this time - that it was a very real threat. Anyway, she told him the truth. No lies, no exaggerations. Our stories matched. Thank god she pulled through at a very important time!!!

He said he is required to talk with the parent of a referral. She was referred to him yesterday (by the guidance counselor, I'm assuming).

I am still feeling the aftermath of my physically felt panic, but at least I know they aren't taking my baby away.

AND, now child services has a file on me. What a sucky - but could have been worse - day.

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What do I do?

OMG. OMG. OMG.

I just found out this morning that my kid - Little Diva - told her teacher and the guidance counselor yesterday that I hit her all the time.

These people don't know her. This is a new school for her this year. They don't know why I call her Little Diva, or how she has lied well enough to get us to take her to the ER.

I am in a state of panic. I do not want her to become a ward of the state. Foster home life sucks. Nothing I can tell them will sound okay. Everything will sound like I am just trying to cover my ass.

I don't know how to protect her. It scares the hell out of me to think of someone else raising her. Not just someone else. What if she gets one of those homes where she could be sexually abused??? She's a very pretty girl.

I could just be jumping to worst case scenario here. I don't know how the good ol' state of TN handles child abuse cases. This is the same state that has corporal punishment still in their school system. AND each school she's gone to, I've made it clear they are not allowed to touch her.

Will they automatically believe her? Am I going to have social services paying me a visit, and/or taking her away? I don't think I could bear that. Adults automatically believe kids in abuse cases. How could I possibly get complete strangers to understand the theatre that is my child? They need to know I don't beat my child.

Me: Seriously panicking.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

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Good news!

My toe isn't broken!!

Just sprained.

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Link

This should be required of all humans, and be free. Public education, if you will.

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Possible tag line?

A person is smart; people are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it.
~Quote from "Men in Black"~

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Sheesh.

So.

I may or may not have broken my toe. On a trumpet case, no less.

Also, I have discovered the wonderful world of the seed tick. I walked through a hay field, walking my dogs, and felt pretty itchy. I didn't think much about it. I figured it was the dust from the field or something. These tiny little things were all over my legs, but I didn't notice until hours later. I never knew these little freaks existed.

Both of these events happened on the same day. On a Monday. *laugh*

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Blech.

Hey folks.

I've been in a really weird head space lately. I think it's stress related, but I can't be sure. Might just be a phase. For instance, last Saturday I skipped something that is usually very important to me. It's a once-a-month event, and I ALWAYS go. But I felt like spending time with my family (ya know, the people I live with and see everyday). If you knew what individuals we all are, you would understand how odd that is.

I'm also trying to get a job. Short-term work. We need money for a couple of different things before October 16th. We actually need another $230 before next week. It's the extra stuff that pops up every now and then. Our normal day-to-day financial stuff is fine.

One of the things is Little Diva's annual "parade in front of the agents" as I call it. Normally, it is in April. For some reason, they have decided to hold the event in October this year. Works perfect for the little one, not so perfect when it comes to money. There is no tax return in October.

The other thing is my fine from my Kentucky accident. Yuck. I say it again: Yuck.

I've also been feeling very depressed and helpless with the disaster that calls itself Katrina. I've been very impressed with how everyone has been pulling together to help out. I have no way to relate to the victims. I feel for every person and animal that was (or still is) stranded down there. I go into panic mode each time I hear another letter of the alphabet has been assigned. Like Ophelia. Maybe that's why we are in dire need of rainfall. Collective panic keeping the storms away.

I'm also feeling a personal loss. I didn't have friends or family down there. But as long as I can remember, I have loved New Orleans. The people, the culture, how different it is from any other place, etc. AND I've never been there. I have always felt it call to me. I've been planning for years to make it down there. The history alone is amazing!! I've wanted to stroll through the Garden District, and gaze upon the old, beautiful houses. I've wanted to visit the run-down cemeteries. I've wanted to visit the cathedral-like churches. There is so much I have wanted to absorb and observe. That's where the loss comes in. I never made it down there. I am grieving for a city and all it represents. And it is just killing me. I hope they rebuild the city. I hope the people move back home. That's what made the city special. That's what created it's culture. That's who is a part of history. The people. I wish them well.

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Some random quotes.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~Author unknown~

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life. -- Brooke Shields

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. -- Al Capone [Also attributed to Johnny Carson. Ed.]

And last, but not least...
Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.



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Anyone else feeling like this?

I've been feeling weird lately. Weird as in anti-computer. I think I am slowly getting back into my normal routine, but this is such a strange experience for me. I love my computer. I can always find something to do on it. Lately though, I have had trouble coming up with ideas. I've really been struggling just to do my normal stuff. I find I am more in the mood to channel surf from the couch than to Google search.

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Feeling helpless...

One of my favorite bloggy friends went down to New Orleans to help. That's what she does. She's amazing. She is having someone else take care of her blog while she's gone, but she has been able to post a couple things. I think what she ISN'T saying is impacting me more than what she is. It's rough down there, folks. Worse than I could ever imagine.

Thought I'd pass this on: If anyone reads Boomr's blog, he's safe. If anyone knows of any other blogger's that live in the disaster area, and you know of their condition, please inform the rest of us.

And to put a personal face on this whole thing, read this.

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