And now for something completely different...

I did something amazing today. I haven't done this in a very very long time.

I bought a bra today.

Yes, that's right folks. You heard me correctly. A bra.

I haven't worn one in years. I haven't even owned one in years. I guess I got rid of all my old ones. I don't have an actual memory of doing it, but since I don't have any...

I also remembered why I hate them. The band that goes around the body is uncomfortable. (That's right - I didn't quit wearing them as a hippie statement; I stopped cuz they sucked to wear, especially when it's hot outside.)

One good thing - it lifts and separates! Very weird to see at first. I felt like I had weapons coming out of my body. I even tried attacking my husband with my torpedoes. I got over that pretty fast.

Actually, I bought two bras today, but one was hella bad. It was one of those made my shirt pointy like a Madonna video at best, and cut my breasts in half at worst. It made me look like I had two fat rolls on top of each other instead of lovely lady lumps (or does that refer to the ass?? I was never sure.). Sounds yummy, doesn't it? Hence, the purchase of the second bra.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to buy a bra w/o trying it on, and not knowing what size to get???

Welcome to my world.

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I just don't see it...

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

(With the answers I gave for the quiz, I thought I was going to be Vizzini.)

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Science never lies.

A study conducted by Stanford's Department of Psychiatry has revealed
that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ
depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged
and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to prefer a
man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass
while he is on fire. Further studies in this area have been canceled.

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No idea what this means, but what the hell

My blogger code:

B6 d- t k+ s u-- f i+ o++ x+ e- l c

Edit: Here's the decoder.


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Off the radar

I have been MIA since last Friday or so. That's when we got satellite with a dvr - for both TVs. Then to add to the "new toy" fun time, we also had a free Showtime weekend. I have so many movies recorded... :D

Also, on G4 (it's a channel), they have the best show ever ever ever. "Happy Tree Friends and Friends". That's right folks, you heard me. The and friends part? Oh, Joe Cartoon, Retarded Animal Babies, plus others. I have it set to record every week. Hell yeah!

I love the Search option satellite gives you. We've had satellite before, and I've missed it. There were so many shows I had to give up when we moved here. I love "What Not to Wear", but cable didn't have TLC. I do now, baby!!!

So, as you can see, I have been learning everything there is to learn about my new toy. It's been a week. I think I can take a break now.

Well, now that's not true. I have not been sitting on the couch for a week.

Little Diva wanted an email address. I kept telling her I would find her one on one of the kid-safe sites. After two days, I couldn't find anything. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zip a roonie. I searched the web for an email that wouldn't allow porn in, and there aren't any??? Give me a freakin' break.

One cool thing that I found, and downloaded, was a kid's browser. It blocks the entire internet with the exception of approved sites (like Crayola, Disney, PBS, etc...) That means I can feel happy as a clam (What a stupid expression. As if clams are happy.) that she can sit down and surf as much as she wants, and not run into any creeps. I recommend it for all parents. It's called KidRocket.

Now why can't they have safe email addresses too?????

I have tried to blog several times this week, but I end up getting busy with other stuff, and run out of time. That sucks.

This weekend will be a busy one for us. It's the last full weekend to get shit done before my in-laws arrive on the 23rd. We have to make it look like we actually care, ya know. Okay, mostly it is rearranging, finish unpacking, organizing, and making everything look roomy and spacious. In a word, perfection. It's not like I'm expecting too much, right? Right?

The dogs will have to go to the groomers for a wash, we have to get Diva's b-day party nailed down, get her a plane ticket back home, buy blank CDs, get Diva some gifts, stock the house with food before the 23rd, I have to sew some stuff before May 11th, we have to make sure we have enough money for the dog sitter, etc, etc, etc... Very busy around here. As the dates get closer, you can watch my stress levels rise. Won't that be fun??

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