I had a long conversation today that caused me to look back at my life a little bit. It was unbelievable! It was like a slide show of stupid people. Where do I find them? I am starting to think there is some cosmic design that attracts them to me...
There's the guy that tried to have sex without ANY depth perception
And there's a whole group that thought they could actually charm me away from my husband
The girl that begged me to fix her problems without taking any advice or working on the problem even a little
There's the guy that believed the 'thought' of sex with him would be enough to do it for me
There's a whole group of US born people that somehow cannot understand the English language (and I am not talking about anyone with a foreign accent-- so don't get your panties in a twist)
The people that actually believe the entertainment media
The people that sit in a Smoking Section--and then proceed to complain about all the smokers
The people with the tiny pretty sports cars that follow me like they are trying to get inside my ass (don't they know one good slam of my brakes won't hurt me, but their pretty car will squish like a soda can?)
The parents that don't discipline at all- yet blame the other kid's parents for something their very own little shit did
The people that believe themselves above everyone else (when everyone else is laughing at them--don't they see?? You would think, from way up there where they reside, the vision would be hawk-like)
The people that underestimate other people (although I kind of like it when they underestimate me--I love that look of surprise when they didn't see me coming)
The people that believe the wrong thing even when facts proving differently are shoved down their throats
The guys that act surprised their sperm could actually impregnate a girl if they don't wrap it up
The girl that won't ask the guy to wear a condom because she's afraid he will say no to sex with her if there is a layer of latex between them (as if you want to even get naked and risk the cesspool of bodily fluids with that guy)
The guy that won't wear a condom (I can't keep it up, It doesn't feel good, I can't feel anything with one on, If you loved (trusted) me you would, Why?-are you cheating on me?, I don't have one - so we'll have to go without this time, It's okay- I'm sterile/tested/had a vasectomy, I've never used one and don't intend to start---Take Your Pick... I have heard of guys saying a lot more)
Actually, there are a whole bunch of dumb things guys are oblivious to when it comes to sex, but that is an entirely different post.
And to top off my Dumbass-flashback day, I got bit by a dog trying to break up a fight. It wasn't even my dog!! As a matter of fact, I was just standing there at that exact moment--trying to figure out how to grab his scruff, and hold him down, without getting dog slime on me. What do I get for my efforts? An urge to beat the dog (which I didn't act out). Dumbass dog.
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1 comment:
Yeah, funny. Try living it! (If only I could go through life drunk.... but I can't even drink! Dammit!)
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