Worship me

Ever been around one of those people that are trying to say something, but can't? You can almost see it: Just pry open their mouth and pull it out. And when they finally verbally vomit all over you--- Damn! Why did you try so hard to find out?

Because what finally comes out is something like "Would you like to be worshipped?" "What are my chances?" "Would you ever consider someone like me?" "How would you like me to make you scream (in pleasure)?"

And then you actually have to put forth an effort to say no creatively. And try not to watch their world come crashing down or get caught in the falling debris.

It's an artform. My latest answer had to do with the chances question.

"So are my chances hopeless?"

"Depends on what your cause is. If you are wondering what your chances are to be friends, they ARE NOT hopeless. If you are thinking long term relationship, yeah, your chances ARE hopeless. If you are thinking just one night, chances aren't exactly hopeless. You have as good a chance as anyone else here."

Of course, I said that to someone who has been watching me for years, and has never seen me go off with anyone. Think he got the point?

I finally figured out what to say to all the worshippers:
"I'm married. I can have great sex anytime I want. If you want to get with this, you'll have to do something pretty damn special."

And before all you fundies start freaking--- yes, it is cool if I have sex with someone else. It is also cool if he has sex with someone. Jealousy does not enter our relationship.

Now the only problem is finding someone worth the effort of nakedness.

Wish me luck. Lots and lots of luck.