I have never claimed to be tolerant of neighbors. I am pretty tolerant with people I choose to have in my life. If they have to make allowances for me, I have to return that favor gladly.
But neighbors??? All bets are off.
We have a new neighbor. Not just any neighbor though. One we have known for quite a while. We aren't close or anything, but we met the dude years ago. We have run into him at the same places we have been.
He used to be this really sweet nice guy. Someone you would want around, hard-worker, etc. An all-around good guy.
Apparently he was gang raped by a bunch of wild dogs or something else to radically change his personality.
Now he is a massive control-freak, manipulative, chauvinistic, aggressively obnoxious, jackass. It is to the point that when he walks into the same area I am (yard, house, etc), I have violent tendencies. I mean, I wanna take the little fucker down. Put him in a world of hurt. Or just use my double-edged wit and deflate his ego like a popped balloon.
It all came down to one fateful evening. I was tolerant. I was patient. I was making allowances. I was being polite and civil and all that jazz. Then he seemed to think he donated either sperm or egg in the creation of my child. Emphasis on MY.
There were eight or more of us hanging out - some getting ready to play HeroScape, some just hanging. It was looking like a fun evening ahead for all involved.
Now those of you that have stuck with this blog through all my hermit-dom know that Little Diva is a strong-willed independent creature. She's a freakin' handful. We, as her parents, know what she is like. We know what to expect, and we know we will have to get on her about one thing or another, without fail. WE will have to. (Didja catch that? Oh good, I knew you wouldn't let me down.)
Anyway, Jackass was there that evening. As a matter of fact, you couldn't possibly miss his existence that night. Anytime, Every time WE had to discipline her, stop her, etc, guess who jumped in -from across the room, no less- talked loudly to her, over US.
Picture getting in trouble as a kid. Your parents busted you, they are taking care of it, and then someone else decides to discipline you, ignoring that your parents are already on top of the situation. How would your parents feel if someone stepped onto their turf uninvited??
I know how I felt the first time it happened. Back of his head: Kick. I restrained myself, focused on my kid, got the message to her, etc. I had every right to ignore him.
This didn't just happen once though. He could be sitting quietly, not doing a thing, but if he saw us saying anything "parental" to Little Diva, he would jump out of his seat, and get into the middle of it. Who does that?
He is not part of the village that is raising her. Not even the village jumps in like that. If we are around, we take care of it. Period. She has many adults around that love her and care for her, but Jackass isn't either one of those. He just sucks fungus-covered sloth balls.
The husband wants to be the one to take care of it. We have decided to wait until he does it again (and he will!), but the waiting is killing me. I've got the whole protective-mother-don't-fuck-with-me vibe going on, and something needs to be resolved soon.
Last night he was around her, but amazingly enough, she behaved herself. He did try to manipulate her into letting him take her place in a game she was in - a game she had begged to play - and she would have let him too, (cuz she is a nice handful) but Daddy stepped in and told her, "No, you can't stop playing.". *laugh* Who tells a kid that?? Too funny. But that Jackass trying to manipulate a little kid out of a game pissed Daddy off (and me too once I heard about it). Jackass didn't ask if he could take over for any of the adults.
I wish I had one of those things that gyms have (don't know what they're called) that you can kick. Maybe it's just a punching bag's dual purpose. All I know is I want to beat the snot outta someone or something, and I have no options.
~Do not expand~
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7 comments:
well, whoever it was deserves a square kick in the Jimmy! I know that Little Diva is a handful, but she really is a good kid. Ya'll do a *great* job with her, and Jackass needs to stay out of it...even if he's well intentioned. How many hundred tines has it been said that *parents* take care of discipline....
Feel better!
I have a solution for you ~j~ - One that might even satisfy your bloodlusting need for revenge.....
You need a printer, a program tocreate text for a business card (word etc) and a sheet of blank business cards for printing on.
Sit down at PC, Type the following onto the Business Card template: Riddle me this Batman, which came first, the sperm or the egg? ----That's right, you don't know because you weren't there - so don't interrupt as we parent OUR Child. Thank you - The Parents.
when jackassslothballs acts up, you get up after dealing with Lildiva and politely (with a smile - evil one of course) hand him the printed out card.
He will read it. he will laugh then be shocked and then he will try to "explain"
That's where the second - pre printed card comes into play:
"While any attempts at apologies or explanations may be offered they are strongly discouraged. Be advised you have been warned to stay out of the parental zone. remain calm, cool and collected and as Parents may we ask from you one more thing? Do not breed, please!"
In answer to the question of who would do this; who would hand such cards to someone? I waved both my hands and feet. OH YES - NOBODY parented my child without being approved and allowed into the village and all the jackasses I dealt with - received these cards!
Iris- You know him. He was one of the jackasses that got their panties in a twist over your vet tech friend.
Cyli eel - I love love love your idea!!! I can so see you doing that!! I think I may have to expand on the business cards for this Jackassslothballs. I believe the first two would go over his head.
3rd card: No, really, I meant it. Don't explain.
4th card: Listen Mr. I-am-the-expert-on-everything-under-the-sun, SHUT UP!!!! Oh, and have a good day. :D
Of course, I'm not even sure those four would work.
Hm. I'm taking fencing classes and need a new target. ;> May I? Please?
((HUGS))
~S
~S
I definitely will not stop you from using him as a target. I think he goes through life as a target...
When I was a kid I was intelligent and understood a lot more than people gave me credit for. As a result I was precocious and sometimes difficult....sounding familiar?
Anyway, Mum & Dad had this one friend who always thought it was their job to discipline me. Mum would tolerate it when we were in her home - after all, her house, her rules.
However, one evening we were all having dinner at OUR house and this friend decided that I should eat everything on my plate seeing though her children had to. This was not the rule in our house. I only had to eat everything if I had served myself. This evening I had not and someone had put peas on myplate - bleh!
She comes over, picks up a spoonful of peas and tries to force it into my mouth while telling me that I am setting a poor example for her children and I WILL eat what she says.
Mum very calmly stood up, picked up a spoonful of peas from HER child's plate, walked over to her and did the same to her while saying "If you EVER treat MY child like that again your arse won't touch the ground for a week. Take your children and get out of my house tight now."
To my knowledge they have not spoken since (I am now 29 so this was about 20 years ago).
I feel you. Gawd I feel you. I have family on my wife's side who've displayed those characteristics time and again over the last 9 years of our daughter's life. Separately though. Not condensed into a single entity. My passive wife gets pissed off at me though, when I share my feelings about it. Her take is, "they're family, what are you gonna do?". CHA-RIST! I know what I'd like to do sometimes......
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