Hiya folks!

I know a few of you have been wondering if I fell off the edge of the earth. Others of you are wondering how much of a wreck I am. And still others really don't give a shit. *grin* I toast all of you wonderful beings that make up this diverse world we live in.

No. I have not finally fallen off my rocker.

Here's my update.

Mom: Still alive, delusional, in pain (but morphine seems to be taking care of that), and probably in her last days. She'll have a few good days in a row, and then sleep for two days, refusing food and pills. Every time she goes into her "bad two days", we all wonder if this is it. Then she comes roarin' back! *laugh* Even in the condition she's in, she's still Mom - a woman I fought with most of my life. But isn't that what mothers and daughters are required to do?

Little Diva: We took a break from any kind of schooling while we were dealing with our initial grief. We have started again today. We have some structure, a loose schedule, and it is off to a great start! (Again.) Next Monday she has an interview with an agent. I hope it goes well. I think getting busy with her career would be a great outlet for her after her Grandma dies. I think it is a great outlet for her period. She's got a lot of energy. I want to see her put it into something constructive that she loves.

My husband: He is a very sweet man. He has been THE support system in all this for me and the kid both. Not that there haven't been other offers, but he's part of the family. He's been a rock. So understanding of everything - even my weird ass mood swings!!! When I flew into a rage over something stupid he did, did he hold it against me? Nope. Etc., etc., etc... Thank you, and I love you.

Okay, sappiness over.

Me: I have been going through the five stages of grief, although I haven't done all of them yet. Do you have to go through all five? Like bargaining. What the hell am I gonna bargain, and with who? It just seems stupid to me. I feel like I am in the acceptance stage. I'm sure it will all hit again later. I have been feeling anti-social lately. Not in a hateful way - just in a "I don't have a lot to say" kind of way. I haven't been commenting too much on other blogs. I haven't responded to too many emails, and I haven't really talked on the phone too much. I want to thank all my friends that have been understanding during this time. It is a private thing I'm going through, and the last thing I want is sympathy. I haven't even told too many people about it. A lot of people have found out recently, though, and they have all been really sweet.

That's enough for now. Buh-bye!
~Do not expand~