By request of Shandi

I live in the country. Back in the rolling hills, mountains as far as the eye can see. It really is a beautiful place.

Except for one thing. Or a combination of things...

My next door neighbors are rednecks. Not to be confused with Redneck Bitch, as she is fondly known. Oh yes, I'm surrounded by them.

Since my neighbors are rednecks, there is some criteria they must meet.
~They must have more than 2 kids in a house (trailer) too small for the entire family. Said kids do not all have to be from current marriage.
~They must be proud of said house (trailer). My neighbors are so proud, they added on to their trailer. Probably to try and make entire family fit into it.
~They must have vehicles that are loud on purpose. And they are required to drive them really fast up and down the road looking deliriously happy. It's da rules.
~They must honk at all the residences where they know someone, while driving way too fast for people in residence to see who honked. (I missed a package this way once. The mailman honks if he has a bigger delivery, and I ignored it, thinking it was my neighbors.)
~They must speak in an accent. That accent may come from living in the south, or just from missing teeth. Who can tell? I have the pleasure of living next to someone I can barely understand because his accent is so thick.
~They must do things the way their parents did them. They are proud to carry on that redneck tradition.
~Their fashion sense must be a little off-target. For instance, guy next door grew a mullet -- on purpose!

One more thing: I don't know if it is a Rule or not, but my neighbors do it. And this is the beginning of why it is a struggle to keep it a beautiful place.

They burn their trash. I don't mean they have a trash barrel, and they put all paper products in there. Nope. That would be environmentally sound. Rednecks don't believe all their junk has an effect on the world at large. My neighbors burn everything. Everything. From paper (which creates ash) to plastic (mmm mmm smells so nice) to glass (what is that blackened thing?). And the county landfill is free. Free!! Why not bag up the non-burnables and drive it a couple miles?? Baffling.

That is only the beginning. They have been doing this for so long, there is a big mound in their backyard of trash. Blackened, half-burned, smelly trash.
I have dogs. (No, I am not off-topic.) My dogs do not see the trash pile as an eye sore. They look at it like they are kids that just won $10,000 to spend in a toy store.
(Ahh, you are beginning to see the problem, no?)
My dogs drag the very best toy trash into my yard, play with it for a while, and (just like a kid) get bored and go back for more.
I have had charred glass jars, plastic milk cartons, soda cans... But my all time favorite was about a year ago. We had the pleasure of picking up a diaper out of our yard. Yep. That's right. They attempt to burn those too. This one was apparently missed by the greasy flames. Thank god their little one has outgrown those!!

This is a problem without a solution -- well, not a solution they would go for.
I would love for them to stop burning (not gonna happen), and I would love for my dogs to gain finer sensibilities (also not gonna happen. What can you expect from an animal that doesn't consider a dead animal fun unless it smells bad?)
A problem without a solution, but we will move (hopefully this summer), and that will be the end of it.

Rednecks are not my favorite people in the world, but they sure are entertaining.