Thursday, December 15, 2005

I'm cursed.

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So here's a fun little fact about me: I always have to take the 'other side'. It's part of me always trying to keep the balance. This especially happens when A: I don't know the person being spoken of, or B: I just don't know all the circumstances.
See, there is a lot of room for interpretation, and there are always two sides to every story. If a person is not there to defend themselves, I'll do it for them.

Even when I don't give a rat's ass about the situation in question. How stupid is that?
For instance, (and yes, this has happened) some chick I don't even know will approach me and start telling me all her woes. (This works best when the person is drunk.) Usually it is a whole list of shit that makes me want to pop my eyeballs like a pimple. I can fake attention, nod in all the right places, think about stabbing myself in the neck and have my blood spurt all over her... You get the idea. But the second, the second, she starts talking about a relationship problem (friend, lover, boss -- doesn't matter), I can't keep my mouth shut. I am right there saying, "Could he possibly been thinking this?" or "Maybe she misunderstood what you meant." And everything I am saying is true. All of these things are possibilities that could have happened.

Of course, the person just wanted someone to listen, nod, and feel sympathetic. I threw that role right out the window. They always insist on how their perceptions were the correct ones. How would they know, I ask you?

I have heard people complaining about drivers coming up on them too fast or driving erratically. My response? "Maybe they are rushing someone to the hospital. We'll never know."

It's a fucking curse, people. A goddamn curse. And I hate it when it causes tension in my friendships.

I know I should be supportive. But blindly believing? Accepting something as true without proof? That's just not me. And truth be told, my friends would not love me as much as they do if I just went along with everything.

The one good thing it does do is allow for the unknown, and that lets me look at people and circumstances differently. "Yep, he's acting like a righteous asshole, but why? Maybe he has a reason."

It keeps my emotional reactions in check. I am not one to fly off the handle at any little thing. Of course, that means when I get pissed, I feel I have every reason to be, and get outta my fuckin' way! The problem is, I may have misunderstood something, didn't hear something quite right, etc. In short, there is the possibility that I'm wrong. (Mark your calendars, ladies and gentlemen. I actually said that, and no gun was pointed at my head.)

All in all, I am appreciative of this fucking goddamn curse. I just hate it when it fucks with my friendships.

~Do not expand~

1 comment:

~J~ said...

Hey, it's been known to happen.

But you are so cool to acknowledge my omnipotent observational power. I will bless you with a very successful Friday. :D