Memories *slap!*

A friend and I were having one of those 'Ugh! Men!!' conversations. Especially as they pertain to sex.
Which reminded me of an unforgettable session.

I noticed this good looking guy, and discreetly wondered about him. But as most of the people that know me are aware, that's about all I do. Think. I rarely act on it. I'm very strange, I know.
So anyway, turns out, this guy noticed me too. He continued to come up to me all night long (it was one of those celebrating until the sun comes up kind of nights), and giving me the lamest lines. But I was in a particularly forgiving mood, and thought of the lines as ...cute, funny, dorky.
I continued to resist his advances -- I couldn't convince myself to 'take the plunge', even though I kinda wanted to see if he was 'all that'.
Morning comes (just barely). He finally has worn me down enough. I go off with this guy.
I'll spare you the details, but believe me, they were bad enough to be a story all on their own. Suffice it to say, I didn't get anything out of it -- and I'm not just talking about the climax here. I mean, anything.
Afterwards, we were talking. At least, anyone who would have looked in on us would have believed we were talking. I was holding up my end of the conversation, while wondering how to politely get the fuck out of there. Sound like a guy, don't I?
Anyway, during these stupid conversations (it wasn't difficult to hold up my end, believe me!), he told me something I never thought I would hear. Now I'm not saying it wasn't ever true -- just that, if it was, the guy would have the sense to keep it to himself.
Before I tell you what he said, let me just say this. I put on quite the performance. Something he will always remember. I proved I was worthy -- and walked away without even so much as a booby prize (no pun intended).

He told me I was his second choice.

Yep, that's right. He spoke those words right out loud. And when I appeared confused, he was surprised.
"Didn't you see me by *Number 1* throughout the night?"
To which I replied:
"No. I wasn't watching you all night."

Why would I watch him for that long? Geez, I do have friends and other things to occupy my time. Besides, like I already said, he was approaching me all night. There wasn't any reason to watch him. I knew he was coming back.

So anyway, not only was the sex something to be written down in the greatest hits of bad sex, he had to top himself by speaking.

See? Ugh, men.