Monday, April 18, 2005

My mom

I visited my mom yesterday. I haven't seen her for a while.

(For those that don't know: About 2 years ago, my mom had 80% of a brain tumor removed. They couldn't get the other 20%, because her tumor is located in the brain stem (the part that controls involuntary things like breathing, heartbeat, etc) - and if they went in too deep, it would have killed her. She has had chemo in pill form, and other such treatments. I wasn't too worried about her when it all went down. I've been fighting with my mom my whole life -- I knew there was no way she was going to let this get the best of her. She is a survivor.)

Anyway, I am starting to get a little worried. Her memory is terrible, and her body is getting weaker for, apparently, no reason. She's not helpless, by any means. It is strange to look at a woman who has fought against so much opposition in her life, and see that it is her turn to be taken care of. I know she must hate it. She was always the doer. She's not resentful. She accepts she needs help. She's not a stupid lady.

Which brings me to this: Friends of the family were visiting yesterday too. These are friends that have been around longer than I have been alive. Wouldn't you think they would know my mom at least as well as I do? The woman, who I get my middle name from, was jumping up every three seconds to do something for my mom that my mom could do on her own. Here's the thing. Someday, my mom will need help with almost everything. That is not today. So many things have been taken from her. Let her do the things she is still able to, dammit! I could see the look on my mother's face when the woman friend jumped up repeatedly to 'help'. It wasn't 'Thanks!'.

I'm sure the woman friend thinks I was horrible because I didn't do the same. Whatever. I was watching. If mom needed help, I would know, or she would ask for it. That's the other thing. If my mom needs help with something, she is not too proud to ask. That means if she decides to do something, I know that means she is able to do it. Back off, lady.

Whew!
/end rant

~Do not expand~

1 comment:

~J~ said...

Thanks, darlin'!