Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I have a short fuse these days

I had an amazing last couple of days. Amazing as in - is this really happening? I must be dreaming... Something is going on. Before you get your hopes up, it was not a good amazing.

My life, the last two days, have been like a series of dominoes falling on one another. There wasn't any one thing. It was one tiny thing after another - and overlapping each other.

I feel like I am going to lose it today. All I have wanted to do ~all day~ was chill the fuck out. I was pissed at my dogs, husband, and kid before my first cup of coffee. All I wanted to do was take the time to recover from that. No such luck.

I had moments of calmness, but it was false calmness. The moments didn't last. One of the times I was calm, I received a phone call that set me off again. Damn dominoes.

I'm looking for some sort of retreat-monastery-military camp that takes families of women who are fed the fuck up. Just for a break. A long ass break to get back in touch with me...

I miss me.

It's unbelievable that two bad frustrating days make me feel postal. Just two. That's it.

Well, it's good to know your limits. It's also good to know when your limits will be tested. I think I need to prep a little better for the limits test. If these last two days are any indication, I'm going to go insane - if I don't flow with things better.

1 comment:

cricket said...

i completely understand how this feels...all hell keeps repeatedly breaking out here, just when i think i've recovered from the last bit of it...i've been doing a lot of deep breathing, hoping that actually does something lol... *hugs* and i'm sending all the positive energy i can muster your way...