Beware the blue hairs!!

Check out this list of banned items.

• Items Banned on Airlines
  
  Previously forbidden, carry-on or checked luggage:
  
  toy guns
  fireworks
  explosives
  butane lighter refills
  paints
  bleaches
  
  Newly forbidden carry-on items:
  
  knives, scissors or shears of any kind
  nail clippers
  straight-edged and certain other razors
  box and carpet cutters
  ice picks
  "cutting instruments" of any kind
  
  Banned by some foreign airlines and airports:
  
  darts
  baseball bats
  pool cues
  knitting needles

Do any of them seem strange to you? I understand most of them, like 'cutting instruments'...
But knitting needles? Have you ever heard of a plane hijacked by knitting needles? Granted, I can see the possibilities. All the blue hairs rise up in revolt... But is it necessary to ban them?

Nail clippers? What are you going to do with nail clippers? This one, I admit, I cannot see the possibilities. Chase the stewardess while clicking your clippers at her?? Would she even run? And if she did, wouldn't the passengers just laugh?


There was another list that banned lighters and strike anywhere matches -- but you could have up to four packs of safety matches. Are those the ones that come in the fold over case? I cannot believe they are making it so difficult to grab a smoke. And are safety matches really that much safer if you are going to set something on fire? Where is the logic?

Update: I just read something about all lighters being prohibited -- even from checked baggage. What the hell?

No wonder more people are driving nowadays. If it wasn't 17 and a 1/2 hours, I'd drive too.

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Random Quote

I fill MY industrial waste containers with old copies of the "WATCHTOWER" and then add HAWAIIAN PUNCH to the top ... They look NICE in the yard ...

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Credit cards are tools of the devil

Let me just say, I hate credit cards. I hate what they represent. I hate how easily they can mess up people's lives with their whispered temptations. I hate how perfectly intelligent people can act perfectly stupid when they have that plastic gold in their hands.

That being said...







I got my very own credit card!! In my name, and everything. Oh, the possibilities...



In my defense, the only reason I applied for one of these dumb things was so I could rent a car in Minnesota next week. This way, my in-laws will not have to pick me up, or drop me off at the airport. It's over 2 hours from their house to the airlines, and with having to get there 2 hours early... UGH!

I hate airports. I don't mind flying (it's hell on my ears though), but I do mind the airports. Get there way early, sit around while fluorescent lighting drains you of any energy, and then the long process of loading the plane, waiting for take-off, the long layovers (or even worse, the really short ones where you have to run a mile to catch your flight), and then finally landing at your destination, hoping all your luggage is there, and then trying to leave the airport -- which has problems of it's own. Like traffic, shuttles to rental places, trying to carry all your luggage, etc.

And I get to do all this with Little Diva in tow. I will so want a cigarette by the time we get to Minnesota.

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I've been tagged!!!

Okay, I've been tagged by Cricket.

I have to pick five things to be. *laugh* Girl, don't you know I take pride in not doing anything??

If I could be a crash-test dummy... I would enjoy the hell out of my job. Imagine. Drive really really fast, and not having to worry about crashing cuz that's what I'm supposed to do. Wonder if they are hiring?

If I could be a designer... I would make clothes for all body types. One of my biggest pet peeves is the people that wear the wrong clothes. No matter your size or shape, you could always find flattering clothing. I want to be a designer that takes over the world. Anyone want to join me?

If I could be a missionary... I wouldn't make them accept Christ before giving them food. I would try to teach by example, instead of threats.

If I could be a hooker... I would have way more money than I do now. I would be one of the highest paid hookers around. I think the more PC term for what I would be is 'escort'. Nah, fuck PC.

If I could be Santa Claus... I would enforce that 'Naughty or Nice' rule. Why the hell would I bestow gifts on the brats?

Okay, I'm tagging GodHatesKittens, Raven, and Vincent.


Expand post.


(You get to answer any five of these and then add your own occupations)

If I could be a cabinet maker (~J~)
If I could be a synchronized swimmer (~J~)
If I could be a statistician (cricket)
If I could be a veterinarian (cricket)
If I could be a crash-test dummy (cricket)
If I could be a pilot (cricket)
If I could be a NASCAR driver (cricket)
If I could be a music executive (The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a grandparent(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a computer hacker(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a professional basketball player(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a Customer Service Representative(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be an artist
If I could be a marketing director
If I could be a nanny
If I could be a psychic
If I could be an emergency medical technician
If I could be a firefighter
If I could be a designer
If I could be a policeman/woman
If I could be a teacher
If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an innkeeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor(By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict(by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star(by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime(by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer(by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep(by laine)
If I could be a masseuse(by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver(by Brian)
If I could be a priest(by Brian)
If I could be the Sheriff Of Nottingham(Karen)
If I could be a dancer(Karen)
If I could be Santa Claus(Karen)
If I could be on a reality TV show(Dawn)
If I could be a magician(Dawn)
If I could be a rich man
If I could be perfect
If I could be a comedian

Stolen from Enemy Kombatant

Thanks Jin!! This was a fun fact.

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The Viagra Condom

By CHARLES RAE

A CONDOM that keeps men aroused in bed -just like the sex pill Viagra- could soon go on sale in Britain.

Go ahead, expand. Ya know you want to. You're dying of curiosity now, aren't you? Well, what are you waiting for? Click 'Want more?'.

The contraceptive holds a chemical which increases blood flow.

Makers hope it will prove popular with romeos who find love-making with condoms a flop - and make them more willing to practice safe sex.

The product, currently known as the "condom safety device" CSD500, was designed by scientists at Futura Medical, based in Guildford, Surrey.

Chief executive James Barder said: "Research shows at least two per cent of condoms slip off during intercourse.

"A major reason is that at times men don't remain fully aroused.

"Around 13 billion condoms are used each year, so there's a lot of scope for unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections."

If regulators approve the CSD500, it could be available in UK chemists within 18 months.

link

Fun little snippet (that is completely useless information)

I found this on Why Not?.
You enter in your birthdate, and find out what the number one song was on the day you emerged into this wonderfully entertaining world. Don't forget to click either the UK or US flag.

Mine was 'Half-Breed' by Cher.

Go figure.

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Movies

Last Saturday I saw two movies in the theatre. We have this great place here that only charges a buck fifty per movie. So, if you are patient enough, you can see the newer movies at a later time w/o having to shell out several hundred dollars.

We saw National Treasure (my kind of movie!), and A Series of Unfortunate Events (cuz we have read part of the series).
We enjoyed both movies. I think (and I'm surprised by this) National Treasure was my favorite. My excitement level didn't die down during the entire movie. Like I said, my kind of movie. Mysteries, clues, stuff going back hundreds of years... *happy sigh* I think I may want to own it.



Since Series combined the first three books, I need to get more of the series. We've read the first two books, and we have 8,9, and 10. Can't read those yet!



I think I want to make this double feature a regular thing.

On a sidenote, why are my pics pixelating? I've used Hello and ImageShack, and they are both doing it. Hello never used to do it, but all the pics on my photoblog are doing it too. Argh!! Help!!

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Another dumbass or two

Least Competent People

A 24-year-old woman was hospitalized in April in Nassau County, N.Y., after her boyfriend, tossing sticks to his dog, decided to toss his knife, instead, but the knife's handle loop caught on a finger when he flung it, and it snapped back, lodging in the woman's neck. She corroborated the story, and the man was not criminally charged. (An officer asked him, "When you threw the knife, what did you expect the dog to do?") [New York Post, 4-8-05]

Thinning the Herd.

According to police in Lake City, Mich., the plan of the 19-year-old man in March was to stab himself lightly in the chest, call 911, and blame the "attack" on a neighbor with whom he had been feuding, but he handled it badly and bled to death. [Cadillac (Mich.) News, 3-22-05]

I found the stories here. Check it out (if, like me, you are amused by other people's idiocy, and/or consider it the highest form of entertainment).

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Patience is a virtue.

Well, now I have my Technorati profile link up, but so far I have no claimed Weblogs.

How long will this take??

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"I have a small scrotum"

A new record. I'm the only one that showed up on this Google search.


I am unbelievably proud.

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Just heard this on a commercial

"If you have a uterus, it increases your chances for uterine cancer."

Can we say, 'Duuuuh...' *with drool*

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"He's not my boyfriend."

Friday night I rekindled something. Something I hadn't done in years. Something I used to really enjoy. I even had someone teach me how to properly execute it. I remember that time in my life fondly.

I played pool.

I have my buddy over at My exciting hell I call life to thank for it. Thank you!!

I really suck at pool. I still have fun, though. I like to think of it as practice.

But that wasn't all the evening's entertainment had in store for us. Enter Drunk Steve.

This older guy approaches. He has the look of an old hippie. Most of my friends look like that. However, this guy was a professional drunk. You could just tell there have been long-term effects from drinking. Like memory loss.
Anyway, he walks up to me to ask if my 'boyfriend' went to go get more quarters. There were many ways I could have answered this. But, out of habit, I answered the most direct question. The one about the quarters. I told him that was exactly what he was doing.
Space of about 3 heartbeats...
"But he's not my boyfriend."
I had to actually remember to correct that part of his question. I mean, he was really just asking about the quarters, and I had already answered that.
Enter said 'boyfriend'. :D
He slides up to me, puts his arm around me, trying to effectively do a cock block. I just laughed. As if I needed his help against an old drunk guy. Ah, it was all in fun. (He kept his cock block to himself when I was talking with a pretty boy. *sigh* So nice to look at... )
Drunk Steve has an idea. He really just needs to hold a pool cue (his words). He was hoping we would be willing to play a 3-man game of Cut-throat. I had never played. 'Boyfriend' was really hoping I would say no. I did not oblige. Sorry! I thought it would be fun to learn a new game. Since neither of us knew the rules, Steve had to explain them. You each get 5 balls. You have to protect your balls, and knock the other ones in. The person left with balls on the table wins.

I don't think I could ever ever ever forget these rules. Steve was SO diligent in explaining them. As in, he would wait about 5 seconds, and tell us again how to play. It didn't matter whose turn it was. Steve was there to save the day by continuing to tell us how to play the game we were currently playing. He also had a repeated suggestion that we could team up on him. I repeatedly told him that wouldn't do any good, since I couldn't sink any balls.
He sprinkled his 'conversation' with a few priceless gems.
"My dad forced this game on me."
My dad didn't teach me how to play."
My favorite needs a little background. When he was first explaining the game, before we agreed to play, we had a little exchange.
"You need to protect your balls."
I quipped, "It's good to protect your balls."
"Yes, it is."
And then the gem:
"You have balls too. They're just up inside you." (He was dead serious.)
I considered being speechless, but I really don't enjoy being in that position.
I raised an eyebrow, looked at him with a deadpan expression, "Oh, I know I have balls."
My buddy was enjoying this. Of course, he's used to me, so he wasn't surprised in the least.
Anyway, we finish up the game. Drunk Steve won. I'll bet he would seriously kick ass at pool if he was sober.
After all that, we decided to go back to V's place and watch a B movie. A Kung Fu B movie. I suggested we practice the moves in his living room. We each had a Satan's Snack Bar in the car. Oh, sweet unholy bliss!!

Kung Fu movie was great, but it was a good thing I was the only one doing moves. I would have gotten my ass kicked! I was standing on the couch, making fun of the movie, filling in lines, 'finding the balance', and, of course, I leaped off the couch.
It was a good time, even if he warned me about disturbing his neighbors. Pshaw! The neighbors can take it.

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Food is good.

This one is on Emory Rd. 
I am going to do a bit of free advertising.
See that picture? That is a grocery store that deserves to have voices raised in praise.
Okay, maybe not that extreme...
Here's the thing. It is very very cheap. We have been able to get groceries for the week, for all three of us, for under $30. Ponder that for a moment.
That includes suppers for 7 nights, plus lunches for husband and snacks.
A couple friends tried to turn me onto this store a while back, but I had a routine. Plus, I thought, 'How much cheaper can it really be?'. I had my doubts. And it was out of our way (I thought at the time. Turns out, it's not.)

If you have one of these in your city, I suggest you check it out. The price of produce alone is worth the trip. Or a 3lb. package of smoked sausage for $3... Toothpaste for a dollar. A bag of oranges for $1.50.
You get the idea.

/end advertisement

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What your computer

...should do each and every day.
Click here and enter your first name.

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B-day Bash (way late in the telling)

Okay. This is so late coming. Sorry (like you care, right?).
The birthday bash was wonderful. It was a potluck. Every inch of counter space was taken up by food -- and more kept coming.
It was a Medieval feast - which, in my world, besides trying to make foods of that time period, you are also not allowed to use utensils to eat. The only utensils are the ones that cut up the meat or scoop something onto your plate.
There was all kinds of stuff: goose (got plucked that day), bread bowls, potato stew, baked apples, roasted garlic, plus much, much more.
Little Diva's gifts trickled in. That was great, because she was able to focus on one gift at a time.
She received a wooden box (hand-carved by gifter) with four medallions inside (also made by gifter). Let's see... a CD of our friend playing the harp (beautiful!), a flower pressing kit, candles (homemade. Remember my gargoyle candle? She received a whole set of 3), a PS1, a charm bracelet, 2 fairies, plus other things I'm forgetting. (Sorry!)
And, of course, the drum.
After we did the candles(homemade cake. French vanilla w/ bananas and cream cheese frosting), she was presented with the drum. We kind of did things backwards. We kinda forgot to give her a piece of her b-day cake until much later. Sorry, ~S! She loved it, however!
Anyway, Little Diva and her daddy sat down, each with their own drum, and began to play. I was so proud!!
Later, all the drummers were outside in the pavilion (floor, roof, half walls, open air). I think there were about 30 drummers there. And Little Diva was right in there with them.
Then rain came crashing down. Loud, hard driving rain. Do you think that stopped anything? Hell, no! The drummers picked up the pace, celebrating the rain. Little Diva's hands and hair were flying! (she has hair down to her ass)
She was allowed to stay up until almost 1am, and all in all, had a very good time.

Whew! I finally related the events for the very few of you that cared. I'll go back to my weird, sarcastic self soon.

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Possibly done

Okay, folks. I think I'm done tweaking. For now.

Opinions?

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I just had to share these too. Deal with it!

Ah, more wonderful links! And all of these I got from one site.

Cuz you know you want to.

Why oh why would you spend that many years of your life on this?

Read the two articles. Your pets can stay with you forever!!

Weird shit, man. Weird shit.

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If only I could surf 24/7

I love the internet, and especially all the bloggers out there. A big *smooch* to all of you for entertaining me.

Some examples:
ABC Song found on Chick and Dick
More reading material found on Deviant Confessions
I also found on Deviant Confessions (who found it on The D-List) some great pictures for an anti-AIDS campaign. They really get the point across, doncha think? If these pics won't keep you safe, I don't know what will. I just know I'm not touching you!



And I'm sure there's more, but my mind just.........

Huh? What?

Oh, hello! *waves*

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Embracing my geekiness

What do you think?

I'm still playing with it.

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And they said my name was Trouble...

Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again:

My kid is going to make it oh-so-big in show business.

She was faking all of it. She's not dizzy or weak. The timing was perfect. If she would have waited until today, we would have been a little more suspicious. As it was, we were considering the possibility that she was hamming it up.

The doctor gave her a strict treatment.
Word for word:
IF "DIZZY, WEAK, NUMB" NEEDS COMPLETE BEDREST, QUIET, NO VIDEO GAMES, BOOKS, MUSIC, TRAVELING.
IF SYMPTOMS DO NOT RESOLVE WITH DISCUSSED "TREATMENTS", FOLLOW UP WITH PCP.
The quotation marks are the doctor's.

The doctor is trying to bore her back to health. *laugh* Except for school. Doc says she's allowed to go to school, and read there.

The stubborn child hasn't given in yet. We upped it a bit. We told her if she still has symptoms tomorrow, she is staying home. See, with my kid, you have to strike fast. If we send her to school while she is still 'dizzy', then she will play it up for her little friends. The Little Diva loves her attention!

However, if we make her stay home, and the symptoms suddenly, miraclously clear up, she can't do it at school. HA!

She has the night to mull it over. Most likely, she will be home tomorrow, in bed, in the dark, unable to read, play, use her Gameboy, etc. Just lie there in the quiet dark. What fun!

Yep. Show business is her calling.

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Starting backwards

I was going to relate the tale of Little Diva's birthday bash/feast and the gifting of the drum, but I think I'll tell things backwards.
Starting with yesterday.

Here I am, just sitting here. Chillin' out after a very active weekend. I'm on the computer (yay! No puter access all weekend -- I sooo needed my fix), and husband pulls in, hours early. Whenever he comes home early, I automatically freak. No 'Hello' or 'How was your day?' or even a 'Hi, honey!'. Nope. I fly to the door, meet him there and breathlessly ask, 'What's wrong?!?!?'.
Yep. I'm nice like that.

Well, this time there was something wrong. He has our kid in the van (my panic increased), and the school called him. I'm hoping she is sick, throwing up, -- ya know, anything normal. (But if it's something normal, why is the van still running? Why is she still buckled in?) He tells me that she is having trouble breathing. As he's explaining it to me, I can see just how freaked he is. Poor guy. (He's a good daddy.) He stopped at home to give me the opportunity to go to the hospital with them. I grabbed clothes (to get dressed in the van), something to put my hair up (cuz there was no time to brush it), my book (don't go anywhere without it), mints (no time to brush my teeth), and a few other things. Like her Gameboy (I was hoping it would distract her from the whole breathing mess).

I ride in the back with her, trying to get her to relax. It almost sounds like hyper-ventilating, but I don't know anything about it. I asked her what she ate, drank, if she took any pills, etc. I asked if anything happened at school. Some kids did upset her, but it didn't sound any more stressful than usual. I noticed her breathing was getting worse as she talked about it though. On to happy subjects!!

Well, to make a long story a tiny bit shorter: It was heartburn. The pain caused her to panic, and have trouble breathing. Then she believed her lungs or throat were actually closed, so she couldn't just relax and get better.

Once the doctor said her lungs and throat were fine (and we explained it to her), she was able to breathe again. They still took a chest x-ray, just in case. It was perfect. They gave her some meds to drink (which she hated). It was a combo of Mylanta, a numbing agent, and something else. Basically, it was to treat the pain from the heartburn.

As if that wasn't weird enough.

She started feeling dizzy while we were still waiting to be dismissed. She fell asleep. When she woke up, the dizzy feeling was still there. She said she also felt weak. We had to make a stop at Circuit City for a b-day gift -- since the plan of husband just stopping and getting it changed.

She was walking funny. She kept bending forward and back at the waist, plus her legs were bending at the knee. She couldn't walk or stand. Her balance was off, and her strength was just gone. She ended up being able to ride on her daddy's back throughout the store. We figured it would pass.

And, by the time we got home, it seemed to. She was walking fine, and moving about without looking like a newborn giraffe or a broken Weeble.

But then, this morning, the dizziness and the weakness are back. They don't seem to be as bad as yesterday, but it's bad enough to keep her knees bending at all the wrong times. It makes me think of what it would be like to watch someone learn to walk after sitting in a wheelchair their whole life.

The hospital has been called to see if this could be some weird side effect. They said no. If she is still feeling like this later on, we need to bring her back in. *sigh* Hospital trips always take so long.

So the kidling stayed home with me today, and is currently playing her Playstation. (That was a gift she received over the weekend. It's used, and a PS1, AND she absolutely loves it!)

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I won!

Can you believe it? I am the Number One result on this Google search.
I would think that other web pages out there would have better qualifications.
But anyway...


I'm Number One!!! *lots of cheering and confetti throwing*

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Weekend hiatus

Hi'ya folks! Just hopping online real quick to say I'll be back in the saddle Monday.

This weekend is the gifting of the drum!!! Little Diva will be so thrilled. It's not until tomorrow, but I don't know if I can wait that long! I want to give it to her tonight later this evening NOW!!!

Heh. What was it we were talking about, Cricket? Patience, grasshopper.
Ugh.

We will also be looking for a new home to rent out there. We have a need to live closer to the freaks in our lives. Makes sense, since we, ourselves, are freaks.

I love being a freak. Or as a friend calls me: a long-haired dirty hippie. Did ya get your fix, dollface?

*Beginning hiatus from internet -- wish me luck and strength!*

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Wanna be scared?

I found this on Robin's Stuff (Binsk). I thought, "What the hell. I'll give it a go." I saw her results, and thought, "That's not too bad. I could handle that."
Heh. Yeah.
You lucky girl, Binsk.

It's a site where you put in a pic of your face, and they can age you 10, 20, 30, or 40 years. I tried it. 10 years was bad enough. Where the hell did I get those deep creases?? 20, 30, ugh. 40 years from now?? I almost felt sick. Granted, I would be 71 in 40 years, but geez!! I didn't really have any facial features left except for the pile of wrinkles they claimed was my face. Plus, it looked like they were making me gain weight with every decade. I am going to be fat, old, wrinkled beyond recognition...
I know, I know. It's a website. It's not accurate. There are factors that aren't being calculated. But still!! Who wants to see themselves looking like the Grim Reaper's wife??? Or like a person that wished to live forever, but forgot to add 'and stay young' -- and they just kept getting older and older and older forever.

Please, people, if I ever begin to look like Pizza the Hut, put me out of my misery.

Me in 40 years 

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Dildos and Texas. Quite the combo!

I just had to link this. Any story about too many dildos is worth sharing. Thanks, Jin!

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4.20

I got it into my head yesterday to look up the origins of the term '4.20'. (If you don't know what it means -- well, what era have you been living in???)
Turns out, it started like all great things. It was code for a bunch of high schoolers to keep their parents and teachers from finding out. They had a lot of different phrases they used, but 4.20 is the one that stuck. They would meet out by the same statue at the same time (4:20). Perfect code.
Nowadays parents know what it means -- kids will have to come up with something else.

My advice? If you have kids, hang out with potheads. Then you'll know the terminology before they do.
Link

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Broken link? New address?

What is up with Who links to me dot com? I have tried to get there from here, other blogs, even a freakin' google search!
Has anyone else had problems?
Maybe it's just me, and the voodoo curse placed on me at birth. Or my secret room full of broken mirrors. Or maybe all the black cats crossing my path while I'm walking under a ladder. It could be all the salt I spill on a daily basis without throwing any over my shoulder.

Wow. This took a weird turn, didn't it?

http://wholinkstome.com/ -- Check it out, and let me know.

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Project D.U. and more verbal vomit (not related)

Has anyone heard of Project D.U.? Opinions wanted. Is it a pain in the ass? Is it a really cool blogging tool?

Anyone?

In other news, Omarosa hung up on a local radio morning show, but not before informing them of her website. Ya know, when I first saw her on season one of 'The Apprentice', I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I figured it was the editors trying to make good television. I was wrong. She's just a bitch with an over-inflated ego. Period. And to prove her lack of stardom, she's on the newest season of The Surreal Life. This is after she was shooting her mouth off on Fear Factor.
Someone should shoot her.

I can't believe I wasted blog space on her.

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"You're too young too die!"

A man saved his chicken using mouth-to-beak resuscitation.
Yes.
I'm serious.
Don't believe me? Read it here.

They likened it to another amazing Colorado chicken story.
(There's two stories??? Yes, two. Colorado is an amazing place. ...I'm guessing. I've never been there.)
Mike the Headless Chicken has his own website.


Hmmm.... Now I'm craving fried chicken.

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Binsk's Questions

1. What talent do you wish you possessed? Why? Feel free to be creative.

2. I read Edgar Allen Poe as a kid (smart, eh?), and as a result, I also have his fear of being buried alive. If it was legal, I would want my body placed on a raft floating down a river -- just in case I woke up. Do you have any weird things involving your death? (how you want to die, how you want your remains taken care of, etc) And do you know the reason for the 'weird thing'?

3. Which nationality do you wish was part of your DNA make-up? Why? Or if perfectly happy the way you are, why?

4. If you could only have one kind of food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why?

5. Someone leans in and kisses you (your lips, neck, etc. - you choose) and says, "Mmmm, you taste like..." what? (This is what you would want them to say -- not what you had for lunch *grin*) And, of course, why that flavor?


~Binsk - expand post~

Place this on the post that answers the questions.

~~~

For the blog-a-thon:
I'll offer to interview the next how many ever people respond to this post, and here's how it works:
1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me', if you'd like to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones above.
3. You'll update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You'll include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you'll ask them five questions.

My mom

I visited my mom yesterday. I haven't seen her for a while.

(For those that don't know: About 2 years ago, my mom had 80% of a brain tumor removed. They couldn't get the other 20%, because her tumor is located in the brain stem (the part that controls involuntary things like breathing, heartbeat, etc) - and if they went in too deep, it would have killed her. She has had chemo in pill form, and other such treatments. I wasn't too worried about her when it all went down. I've been fighting with my mom my whole life -- I knew there was no way she was going to let this get the best of her. She is a survivor.)

Anyway, I am starting to get a little worried. Her memory is terrible, and her body is getting weaker for, apparently, no reason. She's not helpless, by any means. It is strange to look at a woman who has fought against so much opposition in her life, and see that it is her turn to be taken care of. I know she must hate it. She was always the doer. She's not resentful. She accepts she needs help. She's not a stupid lady.

Which brings me to this: Friends of the family were visiting yesterday too. These are friends that have been around longer than I have been alive. Wouldn't you think they would know my mom at least as well as I do? The woman, who I get my middle name from, was jumping up every three seconds to do something for my mom that my mom could do on her own. Here's the thing. Someday, my mom will need help with almost everything. That is not today. So many things have been taken from her. Let her do the things she is still able to, dammit! I could see the look on my mother's face when the woman friend jumped up repeatedly to 'help'. It wasn't 'Thanks!'.

I'm sure the woman friend thinks I was horrible because I didn't do the same. Whatever. I was watching. If mom needed help, I would know, or she would ask for it. That's the other thing. If my mom needs help with something, she is not too proud to ask. That means if she decides to do something, I know that means she is able to do it. Back off, lady.

Whew!
/end rant

~Do not expand~

Carl's Questions

1. You've washed up on a desert island. Other things washed up with you. You look in your pack to find you have some food, water, knife, flint and steel, instructions on how to make your own bow and arrow, a desert survival guide, and an entertaining novel to read. What one thing do you wish was in your pack (and you can't pick any people)? Why?

2. I noticed you have a blog about your two children. Tell me the decision process about why you preferred to use their real names, and to post pictures of them. And weren't you scared to do so?

3. Are you the same religion now as you were raised to be? Why/Why not?

4. If you were to receive your all-time favorite gift, what would it be? It can be anything. Why?

5. You called yourself a lurker. How long have you been lurking, and how did you get here in the first place?

~Do not expand~

Weird Stuff (been surfing today)

Alien and Angel Communication (battery powered)

(Stolen from Help Desk Confessionals)
Yes and No's of Driving Video

Amazingly Big Testicles (Nov. 2004)

Only of interest for those that drive around Knoxville (not weird news)

I also found an old story (from 2001) about a guy who created a website to charge people $20 to watch him cut off his feet with a homemade guillotine. He didn't have use of his feet, and wanted to raise money to buy the prosthetics ($200,000). His website is down now, or I would have put the link up. Like I said, very old story. But I had to share, especially since I was cringing.

~Do not expand~

Desperate for a bong

I found yet another 'stupid people' story that I'm swiping off an entertaining blog: The Playground

Vermont Teen Accused of Stealing Corpse's Head

~Do not expand~

A 5 Question Interview (a.k.a. the blog-a-thon)

From Cricket

~j~…
1…if, like milk or the newspaper, you could have anything of your choice delivered to your doorstep every morning, what particular item would you want it to be?

Wow. Surprisingly, this was the hardest question to answer. I considered a warm cup of flavored coffee. Then I thought about chocolate (but I don't really like chocolate). So that doesn't work. I thought about my beloved Mt. Dew, but everyday? I also thought about a cigarette to go with the coffee, but I don't like smoking in the morning. Heh. I don't like mornings.
Final decision: I would like a big mug of coffee flavored with Southern Butter Pecan creamer, sugar, and milk -- Along with a beautiful sunrise, accompanied by a warm breeze.

This is an expandable post.
2…what thought or sentiment would you like to put into one million fortune cookies?

Confucius say: "Things always look bright on the horizon. It's just whether you crash and burn first..."

3…what is the strongest craving you get?

Cheesy pasta. I loves me some pasta!! I also love cheese. In fact, I believe cheese should be it's own food group -- requiring 5 servings a day. Or more. Mmmmm, cheese.

4…you hang out a lot at castles so, suppose that we still lived in an age when kings and queens ruled the lands. would you rather be the monarch or his number one advisor?

I would like to be the Queen that advises the King. That way I'll still be in power (even if the King is out-of-town). Also, the advisor doesn't necessarily have to pass from one King to the next. The advisor is usually in the background, has his own agenda, and would be the one most likely to poison the King. Even if innocent of any wrong-doing, the advisor will usually be the scapegoat with his head on the block. No thanks. Give me Queendom -- That way, at the very least, I'll be in the history books.

5…do you think that the world will be a better or a worse place 100 years from now?

That depends. Will there still be humans around? *grin*
Well, I think we are steadily destroying the earth, but, at the same time, we are also becoming more aware. I feel like we are in limbo right now. If there are laws made to protect the environment, instead of to make money, there is a chance to improve. But taking the wilderness away from Alaska?? How stupid. Then again, I'm just talking about the USA. Who knows what will happen on the rest of the planet? Can you tell I'm very confused? I believe there are two groups. Pro-environment vs. Don't Give a Flying Fuck. I think both groups will continue to get stronger, and eventually, there will be a showdown. I hope the Pros win.


~~~

For the blog-a-thon:
I'll offer to interview the next how many ever people respond to this post, and here's how it works:
1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me', if you'd like to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones above.
3. You'll update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You'll include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you'll ask them five questions.

Googlism for J

Shandi has stumbled across a very cool thing: Googlism

You enter your name (or phrase), and it pulls together all kinds of lines that have that in it. A ready made poem -- using your name!

Try it. If you want to see what mine was, hit the link. Be warned. I used 'J'. It's long. If you only skim, I forgive you.
If it makes you feel any better, when I used my real first name, the list was longer.

Edit: I took poetic license, and deleted anything I thought was completely stupid, didn't make sense, etc. I also rearranged the order into groups. So, it's not an accurate portrayal of Googlism, but you'll get the idea.

This is an expandable post.
Googlism for: j


j is going to get it
j is flying away
j is here again
j is coming
j is out
j is flying away savoring and being savored
j is paid annually per unit
j is not good
j is for lots of things
j is hyperdecidable
j is a stupid head
j is right
j is optimized for high

j is for jack a is for ants they crawl in your pants c is for cat that
j is for judgment von sue grafton
j is for young women's hypothyroidism
j is for jellyfish color poster
j is for jetstream
j is for jellied eels
j is for jaguars
j is for jaguar and jeep

j is for the j

j is for peter jennings
j is for jenny
j is for james bond
j is for jehovah
j is for jesse
j is for jack
j is for john
j is for james who took lye by mistake

j is for junk
j is for junkets
j is for joy
j is for jibe
j is for jaw
j is for justice
j is for jolly
j is for jetsetter
j is for jester
j is for jungle
j is for just like brothers
j is for juneau
j is for jelly
j is for juggling
j is for jumping jackal
j is for jackrabbit
j is for junk boat
j is for jeans
j is for judgment
j is for jubilee
j is for jazz

j is is_min is_max is it it is it is_min

j is for judgment offers a medium dose of suspense
j is for judgment at epinions
j is for joint ownership
j is for joint issue
j is provided for informational purposes only and is not negotiable or grievable
j is for joint ownership graham norwood sunday january 12
j is for javascript
j is a native java driver that converts jdbc
j is a technology for visualisation of interactive 3d objects

j is " +

To expand or not to expand...

I finally broke down and put the sub-standard expandable post on here. But as you can tell by what the link says, I'll let you know if I put anything there. I wouldn't want you wasting your time, loading another page, if you didn't have to. Especially for the poor saps (like me) that have dial-up.

I live here...

Random Quote (from my sidebar).
In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

Another wonderful search

Google Search:
abscess anus "feels like" -dog -cat -rabbit -pet

Serves me right for trying to educate the masses, eh?

In case you weren't reading this blog at that time: Referring post

I got down with my crafty self

Cloven Fruit and Gargoyles - Ole'! 

I attended a candle making workshop last Saturday. The gargoyle in the picture is the result of that class.
The other two candles are made by my friend that was teaching the workshop. The orange smells like... well, like orange. And the red is scented with cloves. As is the gargoyle.
I want to fill my house with clove scented candles. YUM!!

Blog help required.

Does anyone out there know how to make expandable posts? I tried looking it up in Blogger, but the closest thing they have is a link that would show up on every post. That would be great if you wanted to read every post twice... *sigh*

I just want to create a link that will expand the post if I have something incredibly long going on -- or to give you the choice about wanting to read it. But only on selected posts.

...Anyone? ...Anyone?

...Bueller? ...Bueller?

Just nod if you can hear me...

I laughed at this:

Bumper sticker husband saw on the way home:

"If God intended us to vote, He'd have given us candidates."

Those promised links

Okay. Now for the other two really cool links.

One of them I will place in a permanent spot in my sidebar under 'Good Stuff!!!'. But for now, you'll be able to get there through this post.

This is the one that will be made a permanent member of the country club that is my blog. It's a game. It's educational. It's both. Either way, a great time waster! (Is it really wasting time if you are learning?)
link

This next one I found out in the blogosphere. If I could remember which blog pointed it out, I would give them credit. Well, rest assured, if I remember which one of you it was, I'll link you here.
It is a site where you can get your blog made into a book. A hardcover real live book! I'm thinking about doing this as a yearly birthday present to myself. I wouldn't have to worry about a server crashing and losing all my hard blogging work, then, would I? Plus, I just think it would be so cool to have this hardcover book in my bookcase, and be able to say in the most nonchalant of voices, "Yeah, I wrote that."
link

Attention! (again)

You must all go see (and by all, I am especially targeting anyone on a diet, or struggling to eat healthy) the picture Raven posted.

Stay tuned. I have at least two more cool links (not pictures) to post.


Random thought: When you get the Cannot Find Server message, and then refresh - and it finds the server (you know this because the page loads)-- Why does it still say Cannot Find Server? That bugs the hell outta me.

Attention!

You must all go see (and by all, I am especially targeting the guys) the picture Heather posted.
What are you still doing here?

Credits are rolling, people.

Now what?

I am now signed up with Feedburner (link in sidebar), but that's about it. I have no idea what to do with it. Wannabe geek just came to a halt. Anyone that can help me figure out the next step, I'd be eternally grateful.

I also signed up with a bunch of other things. Check the foot of the blog to see it all.

Question...

Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?

Whew!

Something quick.

I've been working behind-the-scenes on my blog today.

I signed up with Blogroll, Technorati, Popdex, Blogsnob(not sure yet. activation code didn't work), Daypop, and Blogdex.

Tomorrow I'll be looking at Feedburner.

I feel like such a geek.

...and I like it.

Memories *slap!*

A friend and I were having one of those 'Ugh! Men!!' conversations. Especially as they pertain to sex.
Which reminded me of an unforgettable session.

I noticed this good looking guy, and discreetly wondered about him. But as most of the people that know me are aware, that's about all I do. Think. I rarely act on it. I'm very strange, I know.
So anyway, turns out, this guy noticed me too. He continued to come up to me all night long (it was one of those celebrating until the sun comes up kind of nights), and giving me the lamest lines. But I was in a particularly forgiving mood, and thought of the lines as ...cute, funny, dorky.
I continued to resist his advances -- I couldn't convince myself to 'take the plunge', even though I kinda wanted to see if he was 'all that'.
Morning comes (just barely). He finally has worn me down enough. I go off with this guy.
I'll spare you the details, but believe me, they were bad enough to be a story all on their own. Suffice it to say, I didn't get anything out of it -- and I'm not just talking about the climax here. I mean, anything.
Afterwards, we were talking. At least, anyone who would have looked in on us would have believed we were talking. I was holding up my end of the conversation, while wondering how to politely get the fuck out of there. Sound like a guy, don't I?
Anyway, during these stupid conversations (it wasn't difficult to hold up my end, believe me!), he told me something I never thought I would hear. Now I'm not saying it wasn't ever true -- just that, if it was, the guy would have the sense to keep it to himself.
Before I tell you what he said, let me just say this. I put on quite the performance. Something he will always remember. I proved I was worthy -- and walked away without even so much as a booby prize (no pun intended).

He told me I was his second choice.

Yep, that's right. He spoke those words right out loud. And when I appeared confused, he was surprised.
"Didn't you see me by *Number 1* throughout the night?"
To which I replied:
"No. I wasn't watching you all night."

Why would I watch him for that long? Geez, I do have friends and other things to occupy my time. Besides, like I already said, he was approaching me all night. There wasn't any reason to watch him. I knew he was coming back.

So anyway, not only was the sex something to be written down in the greatest hits of bad sex, he had to top himself by speaking.

See? Ugh, men.

I felt it was my duty to pass these on.

There are two things I feel I must link to that I found on other blogs -- and they are totally unrelated.

First, the useful one.
I found this on Was it the Pagan Remark?. Here's a copy/paste of the really useful info:

Apple cider vinegar One unique folk remedy for nose congestion is to do the following: put two inches of apple cider vinegar in a pan and heat until it begins to steam. Inhale the vapor. If the vapor is too strong, add a bit of water. The nasal passages should remain clear for 12-24 hours. Repeat as needed. By removing the congestion, the inflammation in the nose’s mucus membranes will decrease and make breathing easier. The cold germs will also be killed. Drink a teaspoon of vinegar with a glass of water at meals to facilitate healing.

http://www.health911.com/remedies/rem_nosec.htm

I was sick recently, and I wish I knew about it then. Not to worry though. It seems we are passing the same cold between the three of us. Why can't we infect someone else??? (horrible thought, I know)


Okay, the other thing I just HAD to link to has to do with the title of this very blog. I found it on The Playground. I really should just send you to that blog entry, and make you guess which one I wanted to link -- but I can't wait that long to pass this wonderful little story on.

The title says it all (but still go and read it):
Man Tries To Fool Breathalyzer With Feces In Mouth

The things people will do a search for...

I would love to know what someone was trying to find searching for 'migraine freemasonry'...

... or "kfc popcorn chicken animation'.

Hey dollface!! Someone found this site searching for 'reefer maddness'!!!

Does anybody know who this is? Tell me!

Can you guess? 

Atlanta weekend

My kid's dream is to be in the entertainment business. More specifically, she wants to be on TV. She has wanted this for a couple years. So, like the good parents we are try to be, we are doing whatever we can to help her achieve this.

This last weekend was a big part of that. She was able to meet a lot of agencies from around the world, and, in turn, they were able to see her. This is way better than spending all kinds of money, traveling all over the place, with the hopes someone will like her.

At the end of the event, on Sunday, we found out if any of the agencies were interested in her by any callbacks she received.
She received three!!! Yay!!!!

One agent just wanted to talk to her, and tell her he wanted to watch her over the next couple of years -- and then take her to New York and Paris!! She's too young to bring to NY right now.

The next agent we talked to works closely with the first one. She is based in Atlanta (very do-able). She will be contacting us within the next couple of weeks.

The third agency is also based in NY. He was interested in her doing TV commercials. Very huge opportunity. Unfortunately, we were unable to talk to him. He had an early flight. We were, however, able to talk to the agent that does the commercial print in the same agency. He took a picture of her, and had a very good idea of what the other agent was looking for. He will give the TV commercial agent her information when he returns to NY.

The Little Diva really showed her stuff this weekend. She would be nervous, but wouldn't show it. She always looked completely relaxed and natural. Well, when it counted... After she would finish some pressured part of the schedule, she would come to me and start freaking out. She would shake a little bit, feel nervous, anxious, etc... That adrenaline rush hitting, and all that rot. Which was perfect timing! Agents want people that can perform under pressure.

Don't Panic

Random Quote that was on my blog:

"When it is incorrect, it is, at least *authoritatively* incorrect." -- Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy

I love that series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Say what?

Yep.
Mercury is definitely retrograde. Miscommunications abound!
I've only had my first real problem with it today (yesterday?) -- which is pretty good considering it went retrograde on the 18th or 19th this month.
Here's what happened to me:
I sent an email asking for directions. I got a reply with an offer to be picked up instead. I replied to that, turning down the offer, and still needing directions.
I waited. And waited. No return email.
What the hell? Am I just supposed to stay home, or what?
See, that's where Mercury entered.
I was getting replies, but on my voice mail. I'm on dial-up, so I had no idea. I'm -by now- impatiently staring at my screen, wondering what the hell is going on. I start getting frustrated (Mercury again), and start venting as soon as my husband walks in the door (poor guy).
I finally get an email...

...telling me to check my voice mail. *laugh*

Sure enough, I had four messages waiting for me, and one of them had the directions I was waiting for! :D

Aren't miscommunications fun? And they happen every time Mercury goes into retrograde. It messes with electronic stuff, too.
Hmmm... maybe that's why I was having so much trouble online today/yesterday...

I'm still around, I promise...

Hey y'all!
I've been sick. I started to get better, but...
Relapse kicked my ass last night. Probably from all the running.
Friday we went to the castle (yes, my friends have a castle in the mountains. How cool is that??). There were just a few of us that night. A very intimate circle around the fire. I actually learned how to drum!! This is huge. I've been terrified to try it because my husband and kid are total music naturals. Seriously. My kid can pick up just about any instrument, and make music -- even if she has never even heard of that instrument before.
So, anyway, this girl (she was so cool!) taught me the couple things she learned back in the beginning. I actually was playing a drum around the fire with the group. SO COOL!!!
We stayed the night, and drove home Saturday. We had to stop and get groceries, and then about a mile (if that) from my house, a tire blew. Sounded like a gunshot. Then a lug nut got rounded off, and all kinds of drama. But we live in the South. Very helpful people down here. With the help of the guy that lived by our flat tire crisis, everything turned out fine.
We got home in time to power clean for our company that was coming over, and staying late. That was a lot of fun, especially at the end when we could just not stop talking, and it was getting later and later and later...
I drove one of my friends home. We left here at 5am. I got back a few minutes after 6am.
So after all the running and stuff, I relapsed hard. I think I'm on the road to recovery again. The hardest part has been the headaches. I don't get headaches, and I have been getting them daily while sick. And not mild little throbbers. Oh no, can't have that. Light, sound, movement... Everything made the pain go up a notch. It was like the symptoms that go along with a migraine, but I don't think the pain was intense as a migraine. I didn't feel sick to my stomach or anything. Couple this with my dislike of taking any meds, and blech. I eventually would take some ibuprofen, and it would help. I always tried coffee (caffeine) first, though.

On Friday we leave for Atlanta, and I am starting to get a little stressed. I'm usually better prepared by now, but it feels like time is just racing pass me. It's hard to believe that it's already here.

Plus, spring break is upon us. It started last Friday. Good Friday. I don't understand this holiday at all. No, I mean it. I didn't grow up with it, so I don't know what the Christians believe it means. I know the pagan origins, and I know the Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate holidays (because of pagan origins). So anyway, the whole thing. Lent, Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, Easter, etc... If someone could explain what these symbolize, I'd be grateful. Right now, I'm just a big ball of confusion.

I was going to reply with a comment, but...

it got to be too long. Plus, if there are any others that have misunderstood me, I'd like to clear things up.

This is in reference to my 'Proof of insanity spreading' post.

The two comments I received:
Raven said...
That was a good example of something I find disturbing. This growing religious fanatism in America. Next thing they'll be putting people to the question. I have no problem with people that have a strong faith in their religion. Just don't try to force it on the rest of us.

5:01 AM


Nat said...
it certainly doesn't read like he's trying to force it on anyone. can't a christian guy have a blog?

you sound just as self-righteous as you claim him to be.

4:04 PM


My response:

Nat-
I think you missed my point. He can be as Christian as he wants to be. He can have an all-Christian blog. It is his right to preach from his blog, if he wants.
I mentioned his 'Mission'. I have copy/pasted it here:

Mission
Christian Line is a Christian Weblog Devoted to the Betterment of America Through a Return to Basic Christian Values.

This is what I had a problem with. The 'Betterment of America'. He can improve his own life in whatever way he sees fit, but bettering the country for the rest of us?
I just want the freedom to worship any way I want, and if this continues, that freedom will be taken from me.

I am not self-righteous. I am scared out of my mind.

Ugh.

I'm sick. It crept up on me yesterday. Damn it!
My head feels like a broken Weeble -- it does fall down.

I was planning on going to a friend's place tonight and watching "Reefer Madness". BUT I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody. Sorry, dollface! I was really looking forward to it. It's been a while since we've hung out.

I am trying to set up another blog. I'm an addict, what can I say? I have this one (rants and updates), the internet quizzes one (all tests, all the time), and now I want to set up a photo blog. Just for the hell of it. (I'm an addict.) Just because I can. (I'm an addict.) I like things to be separated and organized. (I'm an addict.) Plus, I want to try something other than Blogger, just to see what the difference is. (I'm an addict.)
So, as you can see, I have many many reasons. (I'm an addict.)


I've been noticing a lot of crappy people lately. Ya know the ones. You want to look at them incredulously, and say, "Where do you get off???". The people that feel it is their God/dess-given right to slam other humans. Criticizing people's weight, religion, freedoms, choices, looks, grammar, etc...
They have no right. I still say, if you are perfect, prove it. If you haven't ever done anything wrong, prove it. We are all human. We will make mistakes. We will royally fuck up. We will do things 'you' will disagree with. This does not make it your personal playground. Kiss off!

And no, none of my friend's have pissed me off. This is mostly coming from comments on other's blogs. Makes me sick.

OH! That's why I feel like this!!! :D

I think we can all relate...

I just read something on one of the entertaining blogs I visit. Check the links on the side; it's Raven's Rage.

But this post cracked me up so much, I had to spread it around.

My Weekend

I don't routinely do this, but here goes. My weekend. (You're thrilled already, aren't you?)

Friday night was actually really great. I enjoyed my class that night a lot.
So why dwell on it? :D

Saturday was a bit different. We woke up late, and I had to rush. NEVER a good thing. We took the Kid to the Great American Meat Out (a vegetarian one day festival thing). We had to do something. It was the same day we would normally take her to a story/craft thing -- Which we aren't doing right now, because Manic runs it. We would have to see her. EWWW!

I had to be to a friend's house by 3pm (and actually made it there early. Yay me!!!). We were going to a different kind of festival, and planned on being there all night.

When we got there, it was very quiet. We found out most people were sleeping (it was about 6pm). We knew they must have exhausted themselves Friday night. I thought that boded well for Saturday night. As the night wore on, I realized there were key people missing. It didn't feel right without them.

This is not to say there weren't any good moments. There were quite a few. But I didn't leave there feeling like I was wrapped in a warm blanket of love. And I usually come away from these things feeling very warm and fuzzy. Faith in humanity renewed, and all that rot.

I did have an excellent time hanging with the friend I rode with. He's one of the few people I would give selflessly to. (Yep, that's right. I generally put myself first. Deal with it.) We make a good team.

We got back to the Knox area about 8am. We crashed at his house. I called Husband around noon to come get me. Sunday was all about recovery. I was aching. Saturday night was chilly, and I was standing almost all night (except for the time I folded over, head on knees, and fell asleep. No one could wake me for a while).

I'm looking forward to this week. It's a slower week (meaning I have two whole nights when nothing is scheduled). Tonight is one of those nights. I can't wait to sit on my ass, veg in front of the TV, and not have to run anywhere.
Ah yes, peaceful laziness - here I come.

Proof of insanity spreading

Here we go. Perfect example of the brainwashing that the "MAN" has been trying to accomplish for eons.
Look at the Mission statement on the sidebar. The rest of the blog doesn't matter -- the Mission makes my point.
link

Scary bedtime story. Y'all tucked in?

I read a very scary article tonight.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against Christians. Some of my best friends are Christians. That's the way it should be. Diversity, variety, different viewpoints...

But when Christians start thinking they have the one and only true religion, and that I'll have to go underground to avoid persecution...

If these people get their way, we will be back into the Burning Times. Not an exaggeration. Think about it. If all leaders in this country are hell-bent to make everyone worship their God, and are willing to go to any lengths to accomplish it, do you think they will be tolerant of any other religions? Pretty soon, it won't be good enough to be Christian, but you'll have to be a certain kind of Christian. Do you want anyone telling you how you should lead your spiritual life? I sure don't. What supposedly makes this country so great is it's freedom and diversity. With Bush becoming the next Hitler with all his Christian Nazis backing him up, what will become of the Land of the Free? The Land of the Oppressed? Land of the Dominated? Land of the Scared-shitless?

One true religion, one pure race, you're different so I'm better than you... All of that crap is the same. Holy Wars, Second World War, racism, etc. None of it is right, and the 'leaders' can't see that. Geez! At least if you are going to try and establish a New World Order, be subtle about it. That would take some skill and finesse. But this in your face bully fucked up shit? 'My way, or the execution way' type attitude is destroying the USA. What happened to standing up for ourselves? What happened to our Voice? We were so rebellious to begin with. We told a king to kiss off, fought his men, and continued to have this cocky pride down through all the years. Until now. Now America is brainwashed. We have become numb to what is happening around us. We are just going to wait, and complain about it later, aren't we? America is a bunch of whiney bitches.

Check out some of these statements:

...a national conference aimed at "reclaiming America for Christ." Scary shit. I didn't ever think of 'America for' just one religion. Melting pot, people!!

"We have God-sized problems in our country, and only God can solve them," Yep. But whose God? And don't ya think God would be a bit annoyed if he had to come here and solve our problems? We're smarter than this!

Their mission is not simply to save souls. The goal is to mobilize evangelical Christians for political action to return society to what they call "the biblical worldview of the Founding Fathers." Heh. Yeah, the Founding Fathers were right-wing Christians... Sure they were... And practiced occult stuff as part of their Freemasonry. And weren't the Founding Fathers the ones that said that bit about the 'separation of church and state' ? Sheesh.

. "There's nothing wrong with trying to convince others to adopt their views, but [Dr. Kennedy's] effort is also to use the levers of government to force changes." To force changes, people. FORCE. Not convince, or sway, or encourage. Force.

"The country is getting further away from Christian values, and we're being stifled," says Debbie Mochle-Young, of Santa Monica, Calif. "Other nationalities are coming to live here and say, 'We want our beliefs,' but they don't let you have yours." Yeah, right. Can you see them accepting me and my Goddess chants?

...for the now-required sexual abstinence program in New York public schools. He and his wife, Penelope, say they hope to "learn more about how to share America's Christian heritage with others." Required abstinence program? Our Christian heritage?

The Center aims to increase its 500,000-strong "e-mail army" to 1 million, and to encourage Christians to run for office. They feel the need to say ARMY. Says something, doesn't it?

"If they don't vote our way, we'll change their view one way or another," executive director Gary Cass tells the group. One way or another???

Mr. Pink says he's now urging wealthy Christian businessmen to start using their earnings to purchase such prizes as ABC and NBC. So they can monopolize our every influence...

"Judicial activists are running rampant and a God-free country is their goal.... All means to turn the tide must be considered, including their removal," Their REMOVAL.

Great joke I heard tonight

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE? . . .

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy
to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and
asked, "Do you know what it is?" The little boy said, "No, I don't."

The teacher said, "OK, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants
from your Mom before he goes to work."

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a
piece of Ass!"

Such a tool

This is the most useless tool I've ever seen.


...And yet, I want one.

You've gotta read this!

Here's another example of unbelievable human behavior.
I found this on People Are So Stupid.

Quotations

A man after my own heart

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
Bertrand Russell

Passive acceptance of the teacher's wisdom is easy to most boys and girls. It involves no effort of independent thought, and seems rational because the teacher knows more than his pupils; it is moreover the way to win the favour of the teacher unless he is a very exceptional man. Yet the habit of passive acceptance is a disastrous one in later life. It causes man to seek and to accept a leader, and to accept as a leader whoever is established in that position.
Bertrand Russell
(In other words, respecting people older than you is not mandatory, nor should you get in trouble for questioning. - Me)

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
Bertrand Russell

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.
Bertrand Russell

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
Bertrand Russell
(Ah, fear of change. Such a silly thing. - Me)

It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won't go.
Bertrand Russell
(Or to yell at the other drivers in traffic... - Me)

If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence.
Bertrand Russell

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
Bertrand Russell

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Bertrand Russell
(I knew it!!! - Me)

Drama Queen's Drum

Isn't it beautiful?? 

This is the drum we bought for her. It's a doumbek, not a djimbe, but it has a really nice sound. Husband wants one just like it!!

There's a huge downer though. It's almost depressing...
We have to wait until the end of April before we can give it to her. *sigh* I want to see her reaction NOW!!! She is going to be so excited.

Shameless plug: We bought it at Guitar Center.

Audioblogging

I want to send out a big thank you to Cricket for her research. Audio will be so easy!!!

Here's the links. Trust me, you want to check these out.
Info and site.

A few updates.

This is a djimbe. 

The husband will be looking at drums for the kid today. Hopefully he'll be able to find a reasonably priced djimbe (pronounced Jim-Bay). Her birthday is coming up next month. We hang around a lot of drummers, and the kid loves to play along. She's pretty good too! But if everyone feels like drumming, she has to sit out -- since she doesn't have one of her own. We are trying to change that. Today, if possible.

I've updated my links. They definitely needed sprucing up!!

I found a new place to play!! Weird/funny videos at BoFunk!

Everything else has been going really good. As you can probably tell from my blog silence. Our Atlanta trip at the beginning of April is completely paid for. We have the money to get the kid a couple nice gifts for her birthday. (Which reminds me -- I want to see if Walmart still has those digital cameras for kids. Pretty cool little thing. Built-in storyboards and such.) We received our Girl Scout cookies. Yum! Peanut butter!!!

Husband's extra side job paid more in two days of work than his regular job does in a week. That's a good thing.

We have a lot of stuff coming up fast. AND we are moving. We haven't found a place. We don't know if we'll rent or own. And at this point, I don't care. I just want out, out, out! I can't stand living here another moment. We'll wait until summer though. Between the brats next door, and the brat up the road... Between my redneck neighbors burning ALL their trash, and the dogs that think it is a free toy pile... Between having no storage, and the poor construction... Between being totally ashamed of this place, and trying to maintain a social life... You see what I mean? We ARE moving. Thank god, I'm not the only one that feels this way. The other two members of this family are on board. Even the kid. Course she's used to moving. I think she has lived in 14 different homes so far. She's not 10 years old yet. That should be a clue of how much we like to move. None of the moves were mandatory, or because of a better job. We just moved, and started our life over... and over... and over...

Gmail

I, like everyone else, have 50 gmail accounts to give away. I doubt there will be any takers, but drop me a line if you're interested.
Supply exceeds demand, and all that rot.

An Aesop's Fable

The Ass in the Lion’s Skin


AN ASS once found a Lion’s skin which the hunters had left out in the sun to dry. He put it on and went towards his native village. All fled at his approach, both men and animals, and he was a proud Ass that day. In his delight he lifted up his voice and brayed, but then every one knew him, and his owner came up and gave him a sound cudgelling for the fright he had caused. And shortly afterwards a Fox came up to him and said: “Ah, I knew you by your voice.”
“FINE CLOTHES MAY DISGUISE, BUT SILLY WORDS WILL DISCLOSE A FOOL.”

Aesop's Fables

A solution for boring sex

Ever have really boring sex? Or know you are going to?

Want to 'spice it up'?

Or at least entertain yourself during the few minutes it lasts? Something to pass the time besides going into that happy place inside your head?

I have a suggestion. I've tried it. It really helps to get through the waste of naked time. I first tried it when I was still a teen. Well, actually I tried it as a different way of saying no. It didn't work.

My suggestion: Read something.

Yes, I'm serious. Pick a book, a comic book, erotic letters... anything really.


The story of my first time reading (mentioned above):
Quick history. I was tricked into dating this guy. How can you be tricked, you ask? I lived in a small town. All things that cause trouble are possible. He was a total hornball (maybe because no one would date him -- except me, and I was tricked). He was always after me, like hornballs are known to do. I was running out of ways to avoid the nakedness factor.

Him: Want to have sex?
Me: Only if I can keep reading this MAD Magazine. (Thinking he would be mortally offended, male ego shattered...)
Him: Okay.
Me: *speechless*

Well, since I set the conditions, I had to go through with it, right? Dammit...
So, we move to the floor, I remove one leg from my pants. (Can you tell how into it I was?)
I lay down. I held the magazine above my face...
"Why is he still going for it??", I think to myself.
He sticks it in, out, in, falls out... I jump up, and:

Me: Okay, that's it!

And pulled up my pants.
He never went there again. Not from lack of trying, mind you. He was a classic case of 'People are Stupid'.
(Granted, I was a bit stupid too -- But by comparison? *laugh*)

Wishing for spring

It was getting darker and darker..

Then the sky opened up and puked little hail balls.

A second later came the snow...


When is spring supposed to be here again???

Boredom strikes again

I was bored. (uh oh) I decided to look up y'all on Dictionary.com. And since there is still a trace of boredom left, I am going to share the definition. Don't forget to check out the pronunciation.

you-all (yôl) also y'all (yôl)
pron. Chiefly Southern U.S.
You. Used in addressing two or more people or referring to two or more people, one of whom is addressed.
Regional Note: The single most famous feature of Southern United States dialects is the pronoun y'all, sometimes heard in its variant you-all. You-all functions with perfect grammatical regularity as a second person plural pronoun, taking its own possessive you-all's (or less frequently, your-all's, where both parts of the word are inflected for possession): You-all's voices sound alike. Southerners do not, as is sometimes believed, use you-all or y'all for both singular and plural you. A single person may only be addressed as you-all if the speaker implies in the reference other persons not present: Did you-all [you and others] have dinner yet? You and you-all preserve the singular/plural distinction that English used to have in thou and ye, the subject forms of singular and plural you, respectively (thee and you were the singular and plural object forms). The distinction between singular thou/thee and plural ye/you began to blur as early as the 13th century, when the plural form was often used for the singular in formal contexts or to indicate politeness, much as the French use tu for singular and familiar “you,” and vous for both plural and polite singular “you.” In English, the object form you gradually came to be used in subject position as well, so that the four forms thou, thee, ye, and you collapsed into one form, you. Thou and thee were quite rare in educated speech in the 16th century, and they disappeared completely from standard English in the 18th. However, the distinction between singular and plural you is just as useful as that between other singular and plural pronoun forms, such as I and we. In addition to y'all, other forms for plural you include you-uns, youse, and you guys or youse guys. Youse is common in vernacular varieties in the Northeast, particularly in large cities such as New York and Boston, and is also common in Irish English. You-uns is found in western Pennsylvania and in the Appalachians and probably reflects the Scotch-Irish roots of many European settlers to these regions. You guys and youse guys appear to be newer innovations than the other dialectal forms of plural you. See note at you-uns.

Stupid People

How could you not know?

Mountains

Leaving Newport 

I drove out to a friend's place tonight. As I was leaving Newport (on the way there), I saw these mountains. I had to have a picture because you can see the snow line.
Beautiful!

Yes, I was taking pictures while driving...

Shandi, Here you go. :-)

Just waiting for the fur to grow back 

He is acting completely normal. His eyes are still a little bloodshot, but I think that will pass.
He lets us touch him without flinching. I even touched his scrape today. As far as I can tell, he isn't in any pain.

How is it even possible to get hit in the head with a truck, and only come away with a scrape? *flabbergasted*

Scared

My poor baby 

We have three dogs.
The one in the picture is my favorite. He was hit by a truck today. I'm hoping he doesn't die. He's still moving. He came to me when I called him. He has blood coming out of his tear duct and his nose. I'll be checking on him all day. Poor thing just can't seem to get comfortable though.

The sweetest thing was how Saturn, his dad, acted. He was barking his fool head off at the guy and his truck. Even when I went out there, and checked on Neptune (my baby), he didn't stop. After the guy drove off, Saturn was still worked up. He periodically stood on the road and barked, as if the guy was still here.

I won't be able to stand it if we lose him.

Finally!!

I feel great!

I finally unburdened myself to Manic. I was already way over-taxed where she was concerned.
Then she did the unthinkable.
She emailed me.

Not only an email, but with an accusation that so far off base, you'd have to be insane to even consider it. Well, consider it, she did. She considered it so long and so deeply, that she felt the need to write to me.

I couldn't help responding. The accusation was so preposterous, it needed to be done.

And...

I FEEL SO GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

I didn't lower myself to a rant, or swearing, or any behavior that would make me look less like an adult. Only adults can really appreciate sarcasm, right? *laugh*

Some gems from my response:

Are you really so self-centered as to believe everything is about you?

Turns out, you weren't the first person ever to write, or perform in, or attend a 'play'.

So, just so you understand, it was not your 'play'. It was your behavior.

But, oh yeah, you claim to know so much about children... You don't know mine.

(I know how much you like to assume)

Since I no longer want contact with you and your chaos, you can quit assuming that anything I say has anything at all to do with you.

I look forward to the chaos you will now cause in the community because of this email from me.

I couldn't rightfully post the entire email, and feel good about it for longer than two seconds, but I thought a few separate sentences would be okay.

Picture me grinning from ear-to-ear, and you'll know how I feel right now. :)

Stomp

I was taught a new game tonight. It is the best stress reliever to date.
For example, this is what is says on one of the cards:

I shall stomp upon all who oppose me.
The stomping shall be swift.
The stomping shall be painful.
And I shall show no mercy
in all of my stomping.
Amen.

Does anyone know which game this is? (And no, you who taught me the game, cannot say.)

Jumping on the Bandwagon

I saw this on Alyssa's blog and others.

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet!

The nearest book happens to be one I'm reading at the moment : The Templar Revelation by Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince.

And the text reads:

The Templars were a repository of knowledge gleaned from many esoteric sources, including those of alchemy and sacred sexuality. (The connection between Black Madonnas, Templars and alchemy is the subject of a study by French historian Jacques Huynen in his L'enigme des Vierges Noires (The Enigma of the Black Virgins) (1972).) And the 'bridge' between their exotic and esoteric ideas and the Christian world of their day was embodied in the image of one woman: Mary Magdalene.

It's a book about the Freemasons, the Cathars, the Knights Templar, the occult, John the Baptist, Mary Magdalene, and their inter-connectedness. It's a book about the quest for truth.

Witchy Woman

The pic below won't let me edit it without losing the image. Strange.

Anyway, I got it from Cricket's blog and she got it from someone else's site.

It's Chain Blog Legos!!!

Life in Plastic, It's fantastic... 

Ah, yes. They just keep coming.

I have another example of a stupid person.
A woman got arrested for drinking old beer. Like from 1992 old. Didn't know drinking old beer was a crime? The way this moron pulled it off, it would be a crime every time. And you would think it happened in the South. Nope, sorry. This was a Yankee.
I am so ashamed.

Read Story Here.


And in unrelated news:
"If her ass jiggled any more, Bill Cosby would stick a spoon in it." A MAD TV quote.

More web searches

Page 13. This person was beyond bored.
Google
people are stupid
http://stupid-people-are-haunting-me.blogspot.com/

Surprisingly, this one is on page 2.
Google
strange habits
2005/02/strange-habits.html

This person was desperate to find out how to handle stupid people. My page was on the 5th page.
Yahoo !
how to handle stupid people
http://stupid-people-are-haunting-me.blogspot.com/

First page. Not saying a lot though. There were 100 search results on one page.
Google
stupid people pix
2004_12_01_stupid-people-are-haunting-me_archive.html

Page 12.
Google
stupid moms

Another addiction

I have a horrible addiction to solitaire. I play it all the time.
While I'm waiting for a page to load, waiting for a scan to finish...
I play solitaire when I'm stressed, or trying to figure out a solution to a problem.

It's so bad that I can't play solitaire with real cards anymore. I end up playing so much, my hands develop blisters and/or calluses. Think about that for a second... I develop physical consequences by playing cards alone.

Computer solitaire is better for me.

I don't think there is a 12 step program for this, but it is just an inch away from a gambling addiction -- especially since I've developed strategy for the game. It's not just the luck of the draw, my friends. Oh no, it's not.
I, apparently, can't explain my strategy rules very well though. I only managed to confuse the husband several times over.

But it takes less time than chess...
(which I also love.)