The day I ran screaming for my vehicle to play the most 'evil' song I could find

Last Saturday we had a family outing. Little Diva brought home a paper that told us fantabulous things like games, sno cones, some kind of slide, hot dogs, etc. were happening. And it was all free!!! My kind of outing (as long as I don't have to eat the hot dogs). Here's the real bonus: it was local!! At some Lutheran church...

Normally, as a pagan, I try not to venture into 'enemy camp'. A lot of the stuff drives me crazy. I'm all for everyone having their own beliefs. It's when they begin to parrot what others told them, without any research of their own... That's when my brain feels on the verge of popping.

Anyhoo.

When we arrived, we saw very few children. We were told they were inside (with the AC) watching a clown. Wow! These people really went all out!! I followed my kid inside, and a few minutes later (if that), I walked back out into the heat. As soon as I saw this "clown" (painted face, red nose -- where was the goofy hair or outlandish clothes??) and heard him asking the children about getting into heaven, I had to leave. Again, clown guy can have whatever beliefs he wants, but how is that entertainment?? My husband described to me the ESP cards "clown" was using, and one of them had a picture of Jesus. The "clown" informed the young minds that, "Jesus was the name of all names".

I swear I almost went up and talked to him after his act. The book Christianity bases it's beliefs on, was written in Hebrew (mostly). And they did not consider Jesus to be the name of all names. In fact, they were unable to speak God's name. It was referred to as the Tetragrammaton. They would use other names that meant the same, but not as sacred. As a result, the true pronunciation has been lost through time. It was one of those words they didn't mark what the vowels were supposed to be. Why would they? They all knew His name.

I swallowed my urges, and remained pleasant. After all, I just wanted my kid to have a good time.

That's when she started playing games ...and winning prizes. And what prizes they were!! There was a stress ball to squeeze that is supposed to look like the Earth, but I can't find one familiar continent among the green splotches, and it says "He holds the whole world in his hands." And squeezes it??? Lots of stuff with WWJD slogans on it (pencils, etc). There was one very special prize. I had a giggle fit right there on the church lawn. It was this little coloring/activity book that said "Happy Birthday Jesus!" on the cover. I started paging through it. I was looking at this supposed-to-be holy children's coloring book, and I could not believe the humiliation they put Jesus through. For instance, there was a manger scene (obviously the birth of Jesus) with Mom, Dad, and Baby Jesus dressed in period clothing ...with a bunch of helium balloons above their heads! Another page was a maze - "Help the angels find Jesus". Yeah, cuz angels make a habit out of getting lost. And when did Jesus ever have birthday cake???

That book may have been the icing, but the cake was this puppy they were trying to give away. He was very very cute, as puppies always are ...from a distance. When he got close, it was apparent he had some sort of skin condition or disease or something. Also, when my husband pet it, he said it's little ribs were sticking out. He was too fluffy to see them w/o petting. And they wanted to give this poor little diseased puppy away?

Luckily, by that time, we were able to go. Neither one of us could take it anymore. We were laughing too hard at all the absurdities. And, to be honest, I didn't want to be overheard.

At least Little Diva had a good time!

~Do not expand~