How could I possibly be first on the list for little people porn?? (And misspelled at that.)
What the hell? Is that someone's PC way of searching for midget porn? Don't they know all porn uses non-PC terms? Seriously, when have you ever called your girlfriend a nasty cunt (and meant it as foreplay)? (Among other terms) Personally, I could handle being called names, but you start questioning the cleanliness of my kitty, I'll be sooo turned off. In fact, I'll be sure you don't get to see how 'nasty' it is.
Not that I have ever looked at porn myself... Or even had sex. Pure as the driven snow, I am.
(Driven snow? What does that mean? The snow the trucks are plowing off the road?)
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Sunday, July 31, 2005
Hey Vincent!
They have a new kind of Satan's snack barz. Yep, I saw it on our road trip back. It's Cookies -n- Cream. I didn't get to try it cuz someone else thought it was for him... *laugh* I only wanted a bite!!
Anyway, I haven't seen it around here yet. However, I have seen boxes of 8 of these sinful treats. I was thinking about buying a box, going to your place, and we can make pigs of ourselves. Cheat day! What do you think?
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Anyway, I haven't seen it around here yet. However, I have seen boxes of 8 of these sinful treats. I was thinking about buying a box, going to your place, and we can make pigs of ourselves. Cheat day! What do you think?
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Template troubles
Why is it when I check the blogger preview it looks one way, but when I publish it looks different???
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Saturday, July 30, 2005
Hey moron!
Whoever has the IP address of 67.32.224.80:445/tcp (and, for the last few figures - 25:445/tcp), leave me the hell alone. Quit trying to invade my computer! Like I have anything worth hacking...
And if it is to implant a virus, fuck off.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you.
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And if it is to implant a virus, fuck off.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you.
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Thursday, July 28, 2005
Been reading, not blogging
I read the latest Harry Potter book. I just finished it tonight. (That's right. I read HP. Eat me.)
I thought it was very well done. I say that because I have no idea how the next book is going to be. All of my favorite characters were there, plus a few new ones.
I know this is a lame post, but I can't say any more than that. I would have been pissed if anyone told me anything about the book before I read it. Like the chick that told me during the last four chapters....
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I thought it was very well done. I say that because I have no idea how the next book is going to be. All of my favorite characters were there, plus a few new ones.
I know this is a lame post, but I can't say any more than that. I would have been pissed if anyone told me anything about the book before I read it. Like the chick that told me during the last four chapters....
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#15 through #27 of 100 compliments
I thought I would compliment people who are not online (or, at least, don't know about this site).
First of all, my mom. She is a pillar of strength. ( I should know we've been fighting my entire life! *laugh*) She had a tumor in her brain stem, and they removed as much as possible -80%-, and she survived. This was two or three years ago. The doctors said she may never walk again, or use her left hand (which sucked since she is a lefty), and a bunch of other stuff. While the rest of my family members were collapsing into hysterical sloppy heaps, I wasn't as concerned. My mother is a fighter. I knew she would prove those doctors wrong. And she has!! She hasn't quite been the same since, but our relationship has improved. The rest of my family members are still nuts. *laugh*
My daughter, Little Diva, is just that - a diva. She continues to amaze me (and frustrate the hell outta me, but what else should I expect?). I have never known anyone to be so full of so many varied talents. And I'm not just saying that as her mom. She wants to get into the entertainment business, and I believe she will succeed. How could she not? She has my attitude!
My dogs, Saturn and Neptune, are the best. I know they aren't people, but they deserve a few words anyway. They are incredibly well behaved, and they have never been trained. It is just in their nature. They are both so patient and tolerant. You should see them putting up with hugs from Little Diva!! They have never bit us, or even snapped at us - and we have even put our hands in their mouth tempting them (dumb, I know, but I wanted to know what they would do.). I have complete faith in my dogs around little children, and that, I think, says it all.
The Great Ceremonialist has always fascinated me. He appears so humble. He doesn't spout off about his incredible wealth of knowledge. In fact, he prefers people to find the answers to their own questions. He is someone I trust. I would love to sit down, pick his brain, and learn all the stuff he knows!! I think of him as both mentor and friend.
N*, I admire that you are yourself, no matter what.
My Willow Tree, I have watched you change and grow into the person you now are. I love your strength and your creativity. I'm glad you've got my back, and I've got yours. Always.
Sprout, you are the happiest baby I have ever seen. I am going to enjoy watching you grow up.
Landlord, I love that you are still living life to the fullest. I hope I am doing that when I get older.
J.K. Rowling, you have the incredible talent of building a story up, climaxing, and bringing it back down without ever losing your reader's interest.
Starr, you are a very humble teacher. You have no idea how much I appreciate that!!
My husband, how could I live without you? (That's about as gushy as you're going to get, mister!)
Cousin N, you have grown into quite a man. I remember the hell-on-wheels you used to be! I am quite impressed with your transformation.
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First of all, my mom. She is a pillar of strength. ( I should know we've been fighting my entire life! *laugh*) She had a tumor in her brain stem, and they removed as much as possible -80%-, and she survived. This was two or three years ago. The doctors said she may never walk again, or use her left hand (which sucked since she is a lefty), and a bunch of other stuff. While the rest of my family members were collapsing into hysterical sloppy heaps, I wasn't as concerned. My mother is a fighter. I knew she would prove those doctors wrong. And she has!! She hasn't quite been the same since, but our relationship has improved. The rest of my family members are still nuts. *laugh*
My daughter, Little Diva, is just that - a diva. She continues to amaze me (and frustrate the hell outta me, but what else should I expect?). I have never known anyone to be so full of so many varied talents. And I'm not just saying that as her mom. She wants to get into the entertainment business, and I believe she will succeed. How could she not? She has my attitude!
My dogs, Saturn and Neptune, are the best. I know they aren't people, but they deserve a few words anyway. They are incredibly well behaved, and they have never been trained. It is just in their nature. They are both so patient and tolerant. You should see them putting up with hugs from Little Diva!! They have never bit us, or even snapped at us - and we have even put our hands in their mouth tempting them (dumb, I know, but I wanted to know what they would do.). I have complete faith in my dogs around little children, and that, I think, says it all.
The Great Ceremonialist has always fascinated me. He appears so humble. He doesn't spout off about his incredible wealth of knowledge. In fact, he prefers people to find the answers to their own questions. He is someone I trust. I would love to sit down, pick his brain, and learn all the stuff he knows!! I think of him as both mentor and friend.
N*, I admire that you are yourself, no matter what.
My Willow Tree, I have watched you change and grow into the person you now are. I love your strength and your creativity. I'm glad you've got my back, and I've got yours. Always.
Sprout, you are the happiest baby I have ever seen. I am going to enjoy watching you grow up.
Landlord, I love that you are still living life to the fullest. I hope I am doing that when I get older.
J.K. Rowling, you have the incredible talent of building a story up, climaxing, and bringing it back down without ever losing your reader's interest.
Starr, you are a very humble teacher. You have no idea how much I appreciate that!!
My husband, how could I live without you? (That's about as gushy as you're going to get, mister!)
Cousin N, you have grown into quite a man. I remember the hell-on-wheels you used to be! I am quite impressed with your transformation.
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Joke received in my email (I hate the Caps, but wasn't going to use a bunch of time changing it.)
President Bush Was Visiting A Primary School And He Visited One Of The Classes. They Were In The Middle Of A Discussion Related To Words And Their? Meanings. The Teacher Asked The President If He Would Like To Lead The Discussion On The Word "Tragedy".So The Illustrious Leader Asked The Class For An Example Of A "Tragedy".
One Little Boy Stood Up And Offered: "If My Best Friend, Who Lives On A Farm, Is Playing In The Field And A Tractor Runs Over Him And Kills Him, That Would Be A Tragedy."
"No, Said Bush, "That Would Be An Accident."
A Little Girl Raised Her Hand: "If A School Bus Carrying 50 Children Drove Over A Cliff, Killing Everyone Inside, That Would Be A Tragedy" - "Afraid Not", Explained The President. "That's What We Would Call A Great Loss." The Room Went Silent. No Other Children Volunteered. Bush Searched The Room. "Isn't There Someone Here Who Can Give Me An Example Of A Tragedy?"
Finally At The Back Of The Room A Small Boy Raised His Hand. In A Quiet Voice He Said: "If Air Force One Carrying You And Mrs. Bush Was Struck By A "Friendly Fire" Missile And Blown To Smithereens, That Would BeA Tragedy."
"Fantastic!" Exclaimed Bush. "That's Right. And Can You Tell Me Why That Would Be Tragedy?"
"Well," Says The Boy, "It Has To Be A Tragedy, Because It Certainly Wouldn't Be A Great Loss And It Probably Wouldn't Be An Accident Either."
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One Little Boy Stood Up And Offered: "If My Best Friend, Who Lives On A Farm, Is Playing In The Field And A Tractor Runs Over Him And Kills Him, That Would Be A Tragedy."
"No, Said Bush, "That Would Be An Accident."
A Little Girl Raised Her Hand: "If A School Bus Carrying 50 Children Drove Over A Cliff, Killing Everyone Inside, That Would Be A Tragedy" - "Afraid Not", Explained The President. "That's What We Would Call A Great Loss." The Room Went Silent. No Other Children Volunteered. Bush Searched The Room. "Isn't There Someone Here Who Can Give Me An Example Of A Tragedy?"
Finally At The Back Of The Room A Small Boy Raised His Hand. In A Quiet Voice He Said: "If Air Force One Carrying You And Mrs. Bush Was Struck By A "Friendly Fire" Missile And Blown To Smithereens, That Would BeA Tragedy."
"Fantastic!" Exclaimed Bush. "That's Right. And Can You Tell Me Why That Would Be Tragedy?"
"Well," Says The Boy, "It Has To Be A Tragedy, Because It Certainly Wouldn't Be A Great Loss And It Probably Wouldn't Be An Accident Either."
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Sunday, July 24, 2005
#9 through #14 of the compliments
Jin - You are hilarious wit your sharp wit! Plus, I have to like anyone that insults Iowa.
Blogthings - This is the blog where I get some of my favorite quizzes. Thank you!!
It's not rocket science peeps - Dudes, you are so right on! You are so funny, and I wish you would post more.
Overheard in New York - This blog is hysterical. They are actual snippets of conversation heard by people in NYC.
The Darth Side - Even if you don't like Star Wars, you would enjoy the story from Vader's point-of-view. Old Star Wars, not the most recent releases. (I never knew Vader was so funny!)
Alyssa - You seem to be one of the purest people I know. You are so wise without seeming the least bit old. If only we lived in the same country!! *grin*
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Blogthings - This is the blog where I get some of my favorite quizzes. Thank you!!
It's not rocket science peeps - Dudes, you are so right on! You are so funny, and I wish you would post more.
Overheard in New York - This blog is hysterical. They are actual snippets of conversation heard by people in NYC.
The Darth Side - Even if you don't like Star Wars, you would enjoy the story from Vader's point-of-view. Old Star Wars, not the most recent releases. (I never knew Vader was so funny!)
Alyssa - You seem to be one of the purest people I know. You are so wise without seeming the least bit old. If only we lived in the same country!! *grin*
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Another edition of "People are stupid"
While at a grocery store in Minnesota, I was standing outside smoking. This family (father, son, mother) pulls in and parks. The father and son head for the store, and the mother yells from the car, "The window isn't rolled up!"
The father replies with an, "Ah, fuck it." (Which I assumed to mean that he wanted her to just leave it.)
She looked totally irritated, and, of course, the father totally missed the look.
Then she...
reached inside the open window and locked the door.
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The father replies with an, "Ah, fuck it." (Which I assumed to mean that he wanted her to just leave it.)
She looked totally irritated, and, of course, the father totally missed the look.
Then she...
reached inside the open window and locked the door.
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Saturday, July 23, 2005
Lesson for today
"All things are connected. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the children of the earth." --Chief Seattle
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Thursday, July 21, 2005
I am moving up the Food Chain.
I started as a Lowly Insect, but I am now a Flippery Fish!! Woo hoo!!
(For those of you that don't know wtf I'm talking about, scroll down to the bottom of the page, and check out the Ecosystem thingee...)
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(For those of you that don't know wtf I'm talking about, scroll down to the bottom of the page, and check out the Ecosystem thingee...)
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I'm bald!!
Is it just me, or has my hair background completely disappeared??? Please tell me if you see it.
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I'm back!!
Wow. Gone for two weeks. It doesn't seem that long. Maybe because a week of it was spent traveling.
I could say the trip was uneventful, but I'd be lying. I could say it was uneventful for us personally, which it mostly was -- until we were in southern Kentucky on our way home.
I took a ton of pictures (Thank god for digital cameras!). I had never been out west before. Have any of you ever seen the mountains in Montana?? They are... majestic. They make you feel so insignificant, and, at the same time, very much a part of things.
The water in Idaho is phenomenal! People regularly bathe in the lakes and rivers out there. What a wonderful feeling! I did it twice while I was there - once in a lake, and once in a river. My hair was sooo soft. I didn't want to take a regular shower ever again. I didn't want that softness to go away. But here I am, back in the land of dirty water. The water is so clean there, you can see all the way to the bottom. Incredible!
But I'm jumping ahead...
We left here Wednesday the 6th at 11pm (about). We took turns driving and sleeping (since neither of us got a nap before we left). Every couple hours or so we would switch. No problems at all. I was even speeding through Wisconsin (something you should never ever do - The cops are strict, and if you don't have the money for the ticket right then, off to jail you go.) without a hitch. Oh, and when I say speeding, I generally mean 90mph or above - unless my internal cop radar goes off (I'll slow down then.).
We arrived in Minnesota around 4pm (well, 3pm Central time). Perfect! We actually arrived minutes after my father-in-law. We also found out that Husband's aunt and uncle would be caravanning with us in their RV. Coolness!
So we get all loaded up, it's after dark when we leave (I think). Oh, and by 'we' I mean me, Husband, Little Diva, father-in-law, sister-in-law, nephew, and Grandpa all in one RV. (Mother-in-law had previously flown out.) We immediately took our places. The smokers (sister-in-law and me) in the back bedroom with the windows wide open; the two kids on the upper bunk, Grandpa in the table/living room area; and Husband and father-in-law up front. At some point after take off, Husband comes back to the back bedroom -- he needs a catnap if he is going to be able to stay awake while his dad is driving. S-i-l was already asleep, and I was just laying there keeping an eye on the kids. I motioned to the space in the middle of the bed (it's a queen size) as a good spot for his nap. His sister wakes up a little while later to see her brother in bed, and thought that was a bit strange. :D When we stopped in Fargo, (I was also asleep by this time - as was everyone, but f-i-l driving) f-i-l came back to see if he could have the bed (I'm guessing). Instead, he saw all three of us passed out, and thought that was the funniest thing. He told the story many times over the next few days. Anyway, Fargo is only about three hours away from where we started. At least we were on the road! Get up, use the bathroom, get coffee... This ritual would be repeated countless times.
We had almost crossed North Dakota when s-i-l and I noticed the other RV pulled over on the shoulder. We yell up front, they start talking on the radio, and f-i-l starts looking for a flat enough spot in the median to turn around (did I mention this big RV is also pulling a trailer?). He found one, and only knocked the gray water pipe a little loose -- he was able to tie it back up.
The other RV was acting like it was out of gas. Not possible. We just filled up. Hmm... Fuel filter? Maybe. But no. Fuel pump? Bingo!
Anyway, since we were stopped, we took the opportunity to get clean clothes out of the trailer (I forgot to have a change in the RV). Also, we kicked the kids out. So what if we are on the interstate! Look at this big grassy ditch -- Perfect for laser tag!!
Luckily, Grandpa had AAA, and has the hundred mile tow option. He generously offered it to them. Turns out, AAA won't tow an RV unless you specifically have 'motorhome coverage'. Please. They had to pay for a tow. At this point Aunt C is freaking out, wanting to just turn around and go home, etc. They convinced her to continue on. Anyway, the tow truck charges $100 an hour. He had to tow them for about 15 minutes (if that). Guess how much he charged them -- $175!! Why, you may ask? I know I did. They had to pay for his drive time back to town after dropping them off at a shop. Bastard. The shop made up for it though. They were just about to close, but called Napa, got the part, dropped the fuel tank, and fixed her right up. A loud cheer went up from everyone when that baby was fired up!
On the road again...
Going through the mountain passes of Montana, their transmission started slipping. The first thought was that they were low on fluid. The drive shaft (?) was pulled loose during the tow - maybe some leaked out. Well, that got fixed, and all seemed well -- until we started going downhill. Tranny slipped again! We pulled into the next town, and found a Napa. Uncle R was going to change the filter and fluid. Luckily, Napa let us do it in their back lot. And we were also in town long enough to order pizza. Yum!
New filter and fluid in place, trailers switched (both RVs were pulling a trailer - now we were pulling the heavier one), we gave it another shot. We made it all the way to Idaho without any more problems. Yay!! I actually believed we were never going to get there. Illogical, I know.
Since it was starting to get dark, we didn't set up our tent until the next day. (Oh yeah. I can't remember where we stopped to sleep again, but we had different sleeping arrangements. *laugh* Husband and I in top bunk; S-i-l on couch; Kids on table bed; F-i-l in the back bed; and Grandpa in the driver's seat {He needs to sleep sitting up.}) So, same sleeping arrangements that first night in Idaho, only plus a mother-in-law.
I woke up the next morning in a hurry. I believed we were at a truck stop, and I needed to get up, get coffee, use the bathroom, etc before they left. I fly out of bed... to realize I'm in Idaho. *laugh* I should have gone back to sleep...
Anyway, that first day, laundry was big on my agenda. Since we only had hours to pack, we brought both clean and dirty clothes. No time to wash them here - plus we have the wrong cord for our dryer. They have a laundromat very close by. Woo hoo! Three loads. How can three people have so much stuff on a vacation?? It must have been just enough though, because when we got back to MN, we had a lot of laundry then too.
While I was at the laundromat, the RVs and tents got set up - plus this huge tarp to go over the cooking/eating area. We had a stove and a refrigerator (like you would find in your kitchen) outside. How cool is that?
I've never seen a family that enjoys each other's company as much as this one. Very different from my family - we are a set of individuals that happen to be related.
We went swimming, visited Granite Falls and the shoe tree, went swimming a couple more times, a few went rafting, and a lot of us cracked a whip. You heard me.
A cousin (N) bought a whip on the way to Idaho. He has an 8 foot cheap one at home. This one was real leather, 10 feet long (12 with the two leads tied on it), and beautiful. We were using plastic cups for targets. Even the kids were taking turns. That was pretty cute. They all had to use two hands, because it was so heavy. My kid started insisting we buy a whip. Husband tried it and thought it was fun. Then I gave it a whirl. I am so hooked! As a matter of fact, Cousin N and I have a wager. He thinks we are the most likely people to get a whip. The wager: If I don't ever hurt myself (which he believes is impossible), at the next family reunion, I'll get to snatch a cigarette out of his mouth with the whip. I'm fairly certain I can pull it off (not hurting myself, I mean). I also need to figure out what exactly I was doing differently with it. Everyone's shoulder or forearm hurt after playing with it for a while, but that never happened to me. It's not because I'm stronger or built or anything like that (not even close!!), so it must be technique. He suggests we start with a cheap 8-footer like he did. He said they were about $30. His nice whip that we were all playing with was $100. I'm having withdrawals, can you tell?
On Thursday the 14th, we packed up and went home. Well, home to MN. We arrived around 3am Saturday. We were planning on leaving Sunday night to come back to TN. We gathered all our stuff, got it ready to load (it was too hot to load some of that stuff and let it sit in the van.), and were fully prepared to leave. That is, until I said I didn't want to leave yet. Now usually, Husband will be practical and responsible in situations like this. He would normally give me reasons why leaving that night would be the best idea... Normally. This time he immediately considered it. Then, before any decision is made, his dad says he could come to work with him the next day if we stayed. I had to leave the decision up to him -- he is the one with a job, after all. He decided he would like to stay another night. I think that was best. I was ready to leave by the next night.
We loaded up, headed out, same routine as before: switching off every couple hours. We were beyond Indianapolis before we were both awake and staying awake. We were going to try a new highway on the way home. It was more of a straight shot than the interstate. We were going to get on it in southern Kentucky. I wanted him to drive the new road. He wanted a quick nap, so we switched in Lexington, KY. I would drive until Corbin. It started raining. I HATE driving in the rain. I love being in the rain, I love watching, smelling, hearing the rain. Just hate driving in it. I'm watching the mile markers and the green town signs, counting down to when I can wake him up and get out of the driver's seat. We were about 35 miles away from the switching destination when this guy pulls out in front of me (I'm in the left lane), and then slams on his brakes. I think, "Oh, shit!", and slam on my brakes. Husband wakes up to the G-force and sees us sliding into this moron. If it would have been a dry road, we most likely would have stopped in time. But it was wet, the tires were locked up, and we were sliding. Crash! (which is what my kid woke up to.) Son of a bitch! I pull over to the shoulder (it only now occurs to me, I should have done that in the first place to try and avoid hitting him.). Now I can see why he stepped on his brakes - there is a car sitting sideways in the middle lane. Now after some thought, I don't understand why he slammed on his brakes. We were in the left lane. Couldn't he have just given them a wide berth? I'm freaked, worried, wondering if I broke the van (buckled the hood and pushed the radiator back a little), hoping the people in the other car aren't hurt, wondering what caused the first accident, and trying not to be pissed for getting cut off like that. I mean, fine, you want to be in the left lane? You DO NOT cut in front of someone and slam on your brakes! Sure-fire way to get crashed into. But, since technically, it was a rear-end collision, it is my fault. That's why I was trying not to be pissed. A technicality. How stupid. So moron is all worried about his dented hatch (whatever). He's hoping it will still open and all that rot. Ya know what took the brunt of the crash? His spare tire which is on his hatch. He could have had it completely bent in, window possibly broken, and all that, but he had a spare tire on there. Very lucky for him. I almost felt like saying "How dare you worry about a dent? I don't even know if I'll be able to make it home, you prick! And all because you couldn't wait until I passed and pulled into the lane behind me." But I was trying not to be pissed, and didn't say anything to him. Husband did all the talking. I stayed where I was, calmed the kid down, told her No, she could not get out, and other such things. Also, it was still raining, and I now had a cop to deal with. I had to be polite as possible, because technically it's my fault. Why is that a law? If that first accident wasn't there, and he pulled in front of me, slammed on the brakes for no reason, and I hit him, it would still be my fault. Why?? I'm not sure that is exactly fair. I hate driving in the rain.
Anyhoo, we're home, the dogs were picked up, and they are just fine (I have to walk them soon), the hamster is still alive, the house is still a disaster from just moving into it and never being home to unpack. All in all, everything is just peachy.
I am glad to be home, and I'll be even happier in a little bit when I take a shower. We are going to a drum circle tonight. Yeas, that's right. We get home last night, and we are leaving again tonight. But we have no plans for the weekend, and we both want to keep it that way. Maybe get some unpacking done. We haven't even been home long enough to get the electronic stuff hooked up. It's crazy, man, just crazy.
So, was this long enough? *laugh* Consider it two weeks worth of posts.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled broadcasting...
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I could say the trip was uneventful, but I'd be lying. I could say it was uneventful for us personally, which it mostly was -- until we were in southern Kentucky on our way home.
I took a ton of pictures (Thank god for digital cameras!). I had never been out west before. Have any of you ever seen the mountains in Montana?? They are... majestic. They make you feel so insignificant, and, at the same time, very much a part of things.
The water in Idaho is phenomenal! People regularly bathe in the lakes and rivers out there. What a wonderful feeling! I did it twice while I was there - once in a lake, and once in a river. My hair was sooo soft. I didn't want to take a regular shower ever again. I didn't want that softness to go away. But here I am, back in the land of dirty water. The water is so clean there, you can see all the way to the bottom. Incredible!
But I'm jumping ahead...
We left here Wednesday the 6th at 11pm (about). We took turns driving and sleeping (since neither of us got a nap before we left). Every couple hours or so we would switch. No problems at all. I was even speeding through Wisconsin (something you should never ever do - The cops are strict, and if you don't have the money for the ticket right then, off to jail you go.) without a hitch. Oh, and when I say speeding, I generally mean 90mph or above - unless my internal cop radar goes off (I'll slow down then.).
We arrived in Minnesota around 4pm (well, 3pm Central time). Perfect! We actually arrived minutes after my father-in-law. We also found out that Husband's aunt and uncle would be caravanning with us in their RV. Coolness!
So we get all loaded up, it's after dark when we leave (I think). Oh, and by 'we' I mean me, Husband, Little Diva, father-in-law, sister-in-law, nephew, and Grandpa all in one RV. (Mother-in-law had previously flown out.) We immediately took our places. The smokers (sister-in-law and me) in the back bedroom with the windows wide open; the two kids on the upper bunk, Grandpa in the table/living room area; and Husband and father-in-law up front. At some point after take off, Husband comes back to the back bedroom -- he needs a catnap if he is going to be able to stay awake while his dad is driving. S-i-l was already asleep, and I was just laying there keeping an eye on the kids. I motioned to the space in the middle of the bed (it's a queen size) as a good spot for his nap. His sister wakes up a little while later to see her brother in bed, and thought that was a bit strange. :D When we stopped in Fargo, (I was also asleep by this time - as was everyone, but f-i-l driving) f-i-l came back to see if he could have the bed (I'm guessing). Instead, he saw all three of us passed out, and thought that was the funniest thing. He told the story many times over the next few days. Anyway, Fargo is only about three hours away from where we started. At least we were on the road! Get up, use the bathroom, get coffee... This ritual would be repeated countless times.
We had almost crossed North Dakota when s-i-l and I noticed the other RV pulled over on the shoulder. We yell up front, they start talking on the radio, and f-i-l starts looking for a flat enough spot in the median to turn around (did I mention this big RV is also pulling a trailer?). He found one, and only knocked the gray water pipe a little loose -- he was able to tie it back up.
The other RV was acting like it was out of gas. Not possible. We just filled up. Hmm... Fuel filter? Maybe. But no. Fuel pump? Bingo!
Anyway, since we were stopped, we took the opportunity to get clean clothes out of the trailer (I forgot to have a change in the RV). Also, we kicked the kids out. So what if we are on the interstate! Look at this big grassy ditch -- Perfect for laser tag!!
Luckily, Grandpa had AAA, and has the hundred mile tow option. He generously offered it to them. Turns out, AAA won't tow an RV unless you specifically have 'motorhome coverage'. Please. They had to pay for a tow. At this point Aunt C is freaking out, wanting to just turn around and go home, etc. They convinced her to continue on. Anyway, the tow truck charges $100 an hour. He had to tow them for about 15 minutes (if that). Guess how much he charged them -- $175!! Why, you may ask? I know I did. They had to pay for his drive time back to town after dropping them off at a shop. Bastard. The shop made up for it though. They were just about to close, but called Napa, got the part, dropped the fuel tank, and fixed her right up. A loud cheer went up from everyone when that baby was fired up!
On the road again...
Going through the mountain passes of Montana, their transmission started slipping. The first thought was that they were low on fluid. The drive shaft (?) was pulled loose during the tow - maybe some leaked out. Well, that got fixed, and all seemed well -- until we started going downhill. Tranny slipped again! We pulled into the next town, and found a Napa. Uncle R was going to change the filter and fluid. Luckily, Napa let us do it in their back lot. And we were also in town long enough to order pizza. Yum!
New filter and fluid in place, trailers switched (both RVs were pulling a trailer - now we were pulling the heavier one), we gave it another shot. We made it all the way to Idaho without any more problems. Yay!! I actually believed we were never going to get there. Illogical, I know.
Since it was starting to get dark, we didn't set up our tent until the next day. (Oh yeah. I can't remember where we stopped to sleep again, but we had different sleeping arrangements. *laugh* Husband and I in top bunk; S-i-l on couch; Kids on table bed; F-i-l in the back bed; and Grandpa in the driver's seat {He needs to sleep sitting up.}) So, same sleeping arrangements that first night in Idaho, only plus a mother-in-law.
I woke up the next morning in a hurry. I believed we were at a truck stop, and I needed to get up, get coffee, use the bathroom, etc before they left. I fly out of bed... to realize I'm in Idaho. *laugh* I should have gone back to sleep...
Anyway, that first day, laundry was big on my agenda. Since we only had hours to pack, we brought both clean and dirty clothes. No time to wash them here - plus we have the wrong cord for our dryer. They have a laundromat very close by. Woo hoo! Three loads. How can three people have so much stuff on a vacation?? It must have been just enough though, because when we got back to MN, we had a lot of laundry then too.
While I was at the laundromat, the RVs and tents got set up - plus this huge tarp to go over the cooking/eating area. We had a stove and a refrigerator (like you would find in your kitchen) outside. How cool is that?
I've never seen a family that enjoys each other's company as much as this one. Very different from my family - we are a set of individuals that happen to be related.
We went swimming, visited Granite Falls and the shoe tree, went swimming a couple more times, a few went rafting, and a lot of us cracked a whip. You heard me.
A cousin (N) bought a whip on the way to Idaho. He has an 8 foot cheap one at home. This one was real leather, 10 feet long (12 with the two leads tied on it), and beautiful. We were using plastic cups for targets. Even the kids were taking turns. That was pretty cute. They all had to use two hands, because it was so heavy. My kid started insisting we buy a whip. Husband tried it and thought it was fun. Then I gave it a whirl. I am so hooked! As a matter of fact, Cousin N and I have a wager. He thinks we are the most likely people to get a whip. The wager: If I don't ever hurt myself (which he believes is impossible), at the next family reunion, I'll get to snatch a cigarette out of his mouth with the whip. I'm fairly certain I can pull it off (not hurting myself, I mean). I also need to figure out what exactly I was doing differently with it. Everyone's shoulder or forearm hurt after playing with it for a while, but that never happened to me. It's not because I'm stronger or built or anything like that (not even close!!), so it must be technique. He suggests we start with a cheap 8-footer like he did. He said they were about $30. His nice whip that we were all playing with was $100. I'm having withdrawals, can you tell?
On Thursday the 14th, we packed up and went home. Well, home to MN. We arrived around 3am Saturday. We were planning on leaving Sunday night to come back to TN. We gathered all our stuff, got it ready to load (it was too hot to load some of that stuff and let it sit in the van.), and were fully prepared to leave. That is, until I said I didn't want to leave yet. Now usually, Husband will be practical and responsible in situations like this. He would normally give me reasons why leaving that night would be the best idea... Normally. This time he immediately considered it. Then, before any decision is made, his dad says he could come to work with him the next day if we stayed. I had to leave the decision up to him -- he is the one with a job, after all. He decided he would like to stay another night. I think that was best. I was ready to leave by the next night.
We loaded up, headed out, same routine as before: switching off every couple hours. We were beyond Indianapolis before we were both awake and staying awake. We were going to try a new highway on the way home. It was more of a straight shot than the interstate. We were going to get on it in southern Kentucky. I wanted him to drive the new road. He wanted a quick nap, so we switched in Lexington, KY. I would drive until Corbin. It started raining. I HATE driving in the rain. I love being in the rain, I love watching, smelling, hearing the rain. Just hate driving in it. I'm watching the mile markers and the green town signs, counting down to when I can wake him up and get out of the driver's seat. We were about 35 miles away from the switching destination when this guy pulls out in front of me (I'm in the left lane), and then slams on his brakes. I think, "Oh, shit!", and slam on my brakes. Husband wakes up to the G-force and sees us sliding into this moron. If it would have been a dry road, we most likely would have stopped in time. But it was wet, the tires were locked up, and we were sliding. Crash! (which is what my kid woke up to.) Son of a bitch! I pull over to the shoulder (it only now occurs to me, I should have done that in the first place to try and avoid hitting him.). Now I can see why he stepped on his brakes - there is a car sitting sideways in the middle lane. Now after some thought, I don't understand why he slammed on his brakes. We were in the left lane. Couldn't he have just given them a wide berth? I'm freaked, worried, wondering if I broke the van (buckled the hood and pushed the radiator back a little), hoping the people in the other car aren't hurt, wondering what caused the first accident, and trying not to be pissed for getting cut off like that. I mean, fine, you want to be in the left lane? You DO NOT cut in front of someone and slam on your brakes! Sure-fire way to get crashed into. But, since technically, it was a rear-end collision, it is my fault. That's why I was trying not to be pissed. A technicality. How stupid. So moron is all worried about his dented hatch (whatever). He's hoping it will still open and all that rot. Ya know what took the brunt of the crash? His spare tire which is on his hatch. He could have had it completely bent in, window possibly broken, and all that, but he had a spare tire on there. Very lucky for him. I almost felt like saying "How dare you worry about a dent? I don't even know if I'll be able to make it home, you prick! And all because you couldn't wait until I passed and pulled into the lane behind me." But I was trying not to be pissed, and didn't say anything to him. Husband did all the talking. I stayed where I was, calmed the kid down, told her No, she could not get out, and other such things. Also, it was still raining, and I now had a cop to deal with. I had to be polite as possible, because technically it's my fault. Why is that a law? If that first accident wasn't there, and he pulled in front of me, slammed on the brakes for no reason, and I hit him, it would still be my fault. Why?? I'm not sure that is exactly fair. I hate driving in the rain.
Anyhoo, we're home, the dogs were picked up, and they are just fine (I have to walk them soon), the hamster is still alive, the house is still a disaster from just moving into it and never being home to unpack. All in all, everything is just peachy.
I am glad to be home, and I'll be even happier in a little bit when I take a shower. We are going to a drum circle tonight. Yeas, that's right. We get home last night, and we are leaving again tonight. But we have no plans for the weekend, and we both want to keep it that way. Maybe get some unpacking done. We haven't even been home long enough to get the electronic stuff hooked up. It's crazy, man, just crazy.
So, was this long enough? *laugh* Consider it two weeks worth of posts.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled broadcasting...
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An oldie, but a goodie
Two Wolves
One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,
the battle between two 'wolves' is inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then
asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old man simply replied: "The one you feed."
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One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,
the battle between two 'wolves' is inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then
asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old man simply replied: "The one you feed."
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Joke from the email realm
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is
everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have
just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one
pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real
pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc...She felt that having only two
breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you
know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only
half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You
see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her
bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a
man from a part of you.. Now let's see... Where did I put that useless
boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?
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everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have
just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one
pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real
pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc...She felt that having only two
breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you
know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only
half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You
see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her
bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a
man from a part of you.. Now let's see... Where did I put that useless
boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?
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Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Big Ass Road Trip
There's a family reunion next week (husband's side). But since it is in Idaho, and we have to stop in Minnesota first, we have to leave tonight.
We weren't sure we would be able to find tires to put on the van. We didn't know if we'd have enough cash to get to MN and back (we're riding in a RV out to Idaho). AND we had no idea who was going to watch our dogs.
The cash was the easiest problem to solve. We had enough to get tires and pay for gas to get to MN. Husband's parents were sweet enough to front the rest.
The tires were more hassle than expected. Apparently, we have a very common size tire, and they are really hard to find. We got lucky. We found a place that had them (used, like new) for $21 each -- and that included putting them on!
So, last night, we were trying to figure out our dog options. Most people we know either live in town or have dogs that wouldn't be too happy about it. Well, in case you didn't know, I'm brilliant. I came up with this idea to let our old neighbors watch them. They know the dogs, the dogs know the neighborhood (and the neighborhood dogs), and they are super easy to take care of. Feed them once a day and make sure they have water. No biggie.
One problem with that. We have no idea what their phone number is. We would actually have to drive the hour and a half just to ask (then come back get the dogs, bring them back, etc.), and there is the chance they would say, "No way! Fuck off!". (Well, not really, but they could say no...)
Guess what? They said yes!! So at about 11-ish this morning, we found out we could leave for MN tonight!
Now the scramble begins! We need to pack for almost two weeks in just a few hours, get a nap, run to the store on our way out of town, and try to be to MN by 4pm tomorrow. At 4pm is when husband's dad wants to leave for Idaho. We will probably get out of the van and into the RV. From MN to Idaho (ID?) is a two day trip. In a car, it is 24 hours, if you drive it straight through. An RV moves a bit slower, plus we'll be making a rest stop at some point.
I should be back on the 18th or 19th. Hopefully, I'll find some internet access while I'm gone. If I can, I'll keep you updated.
Cricket - Just so you aren't totally tortured, I put one pic up on my photoblog. It's the bear that was on the float with me -- or actually, I was on the float with the bear... :D
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We weren't sure we would be able to find tires to put on the van. We didn't know if we'd have enough cash to get to MN and back (we're riding in a RV out to Idaho). AND we had no idea who was going to watch our dogs.
The cash was the easiest problem to solve. We had enough to get tires and pay for gas to get to MN. Husband's parents were sweet enough to front the rest.
The tires were more hassle than expected. Apparently, we have a very common size tire, and they are really hard to find. We got lucky. We found a place that had them (used, like new) for $21 each -- and that included putting them on!
So, last night, we were trying to figure out our dog options. Most people we know either live in town or have dogs that wouldn't be too happy about it. Well, in case you didn't know, I'm brilliant. I came up with this idea to let our old neighbors watch them. They know the dogs, the dogs know the neighborhood (and the neighborhood dogs), and they are super easy to take care of. Feed them once a day and make sure they have water. No biggie.
One problem with that. We have no idea what their phone number is. We would actually have to drive the hour and a half just to ask (then come back get the dogs, bring them back, etc.), and there is the chance they would say, "No way! Fuck off!". (Well, not really, but they could say no...)
Guess what? They said yes!! So at about 11-ish this morning, we found out we could leave for MN tonight!
Now the scramble begins! We need to pack for almost two weeks in just a few hours, get a nap, run to the store on our way out of town, and try to be to MN by 4pm tomorrow. At 4pm is when husband's dad wants to leave for Idaho. We will probably get out of the van and into the RV. From MN to Idaho (ID?) is a two day trip. In a car, it is 24 hours, if you drive it straight through. An RV moves a bit slower, plus we'll be making a rest stop at some point.
I should be back on the 18th or 19th. Hopefully, I'll find some internet access while I'm gone. If I can, I'll keep you updated.
Cricket - Just so you aren't totally tortured, I put one pic up on my photoblog. It's the bear that was on the float with me -- or actually, I was on the float with the bear... :D
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Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I'm wiped out, and not done running yet...
I rode the float, watched Gatlinburg's fireworks, and, all in all, had a grand ol' time!
I have pictures and details, but no time right now.
So I decided to leave you with a quote I received in my email:
Some people are like Slinkies. They have no practical use whatsoever, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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I have pictures and details, but no time right now.
So I decided to leave you with a quote I received in my email:
Some people are like Slinkies. They have no practical use whatsoever, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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Sunday, July 03, 2005
Hamster dogs and Parade floats
Yes, you read that correctly. We have hamster dogs.
Perhaps I should explain.
We have two very good outside dogs. Very good. They have never been tied up, and except for 'making their rounds', they stay home. Well, we have moved (duh), and they aren't allowed to wander freely anymore. They have to be tied up -- especially since all the other dogs in the neighborhood are tied up or behind a fence. We really don't want someone to call the pound.
First, we bought collars. Didn't work. The little one can slip out of it easily. Plus he chews through any rope.
So we bought cables. Can't chew through that!
Then we bought harnesses for them. We figured they wouldn't be able to get out of them. Plus, it wouldn't pull on their necks.
Nope.
We tied them up with cables and harnesses last night. First, the little one slipped out of the harness. What the hell?!?! So we tightened it. Then, he pulled so hard he broke the clasp on the cable. We looped it through itself.
We left them outside last night with the harnesses and cables. This morning, they were both laying by the back door. They had both slipped out of their harnesses. I don't get it.
Well, we decided to try choke chains. We figured they couldn't break them, chew through them, and if they pulled too tight, it would cut off their air.
They broke them. Yes, the chains. Snotty dogs.
They refused to be tied up. No matter what we do, they have escaped -- just to lay by the door. We are probably going to have to go to a pet store to get something seriously heavy duty. That's why we call them hamster dogs. Hamsters are supposed to be escape artists. But wouldn't you know it - the hamster we have loves his cage. He never tries to get out. So weird.
Right now, they are confined to the laundry room. You'd think they would prefer being outside. But, nooo....
I have no idea how they are going to handle tonight. We are leaving around 3:30pm and won't return until morning.
We are going to ride on a float in the first 4th of July parade in the country. It begins at 12:01am. The thing is even televised! We will be riding on the Mountain Mall float. There might be a chick in a bear suit (if they find the ice vest). If you are able to watch it, go ahead and see if you can pick us out. I'll be wearing blue and white tye-dyed looking pants and have long ass hair (you already know the color). It's the Gatlinburg parade. I love our friends!! And yes, we have to do the wave.
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Perhaps I should explain.
We have two very good outside dogs. Very good. They have never been tied up, and except for 'making their rounds', they stay home. Well, we have moved (duh), and they aren't allowed to wander freely anymore. They have to be tied up -- especially since all the other dogs in the neighborhood are tied up or behind a fence. We really don't want someone to call the pound.
First, we bought collars. Didn't work. The little one can slip out of it easily. Plus he chews through any rope.
So we bought cables. Can't chew through that!
Then we bought harnesses for them. We figured they wouldn't be able to get out of them. Plus, it wouldn't pull on their necks.
Nope.
We tied them up with cables and harnesses last night. First, the little one slipped out of the harness. What the hell?!?! So we tightened it. Then, he pulled so hard he broke the clasp on the cable. We looped it through itself.
We left them outside last night with the harnesses and cables. This morning, they were both laying by the back door. They had both slipped out of their harnesses. I don't get it.
Well, we decided to try choke chains. We figured they couldn't break them, chew through them, and if they pulled too tight, it would cut off their air.
They broke them. Yes, the chains. Snotty dogs.
They refused to be tied up. No matter what we do, they have escaped -- just to lay by the door. We are probably going to have to go to a pet store to get something seriously heavy duty. That's why we call them hamster dogs. Hamsters are supposed to be escape artists. But wouldn't you know it - the hamster we have loves his cage. He never tries to get out. So weird.
Right now, they are confined to the laundry room. You'd think they would prefer being outside. But, nooo....
I have no idea how they are going to handle tonight. We are leaving around 3:30pm and won't return until morning.
We are going to ride on a float in the first 4th of July parade in the country. It begins at 12:01am. The thing is even televised! We will be riding on the Mountain Mall float. There might be a chick in a bear suit (if they find the ice vest). If you are able to watch it, go ahead and see if you can pick us out. I'll be wearing blue and white tye-dyed looking pants and have long ass hair (you already know the color). It's the Gatlinburg parade. I love our friends!! And yes, we have to do the wave.
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#4 through #8
Vincent, I want to thank you for being the most mature friend I have, and allowing me to just be me. You are a rare find.
Kat, you are such an impressive author. It amazes me you are still in your teens!! I wish I had that much talent. I wish you all the luck with your goals.
Binsk, you are an incredible person. Girl, you are always making me laugh!! And yep, I love your pictures (when you have nothing to say). We should really consider living in the same country...
Lalita, I admire your courage for moving on. Also, your creative writing skills are phenomenal! I can feel every single thing you describe. Wow.
God may hate kittens, but we love you! Dude, you are always cracking me up with your gay (*not gay) humor. I think it's sweet of you to pretend to be such a badass when you are really just a big softie. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone....
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Kat, you are such an impressive author. It amazes me you are still in your teens!! I wish I had that much talent. I wish you all the luck with your goals.
Binsk, you are an incredible person. Girl, you are always making me laugh!! And yep, I love your pictures (when you have nothing to say). We should really consider living in the same country...
Lalita, I admire your courage for moving on. Also, your creative writing skills are phenomenal! I can feel every single thing you describe. Wow.
God may hate kittens, but we love you! Dude, you are always cracking me up with your gay (*not gay) humor. I think it's sweet of you to pretend to be such a badass when you are really just a big softie. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone....
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Heading towards disaster...
Omg, Cricket, you rock!! It's good to know that if I start feeling like murdering someone, this is why. And here I thought the net prevented murder... Isn't that what a blog is for?
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Friday, July 01, 2005
Neighbor details
I was asked about the neighborhood. Well, I've finally met one of the neighbors.
I stepped outside to have a cigarette. I had the phone with me, because I was calling someone. Duh. (A friend and I had been playing phone tag for a couple days.)
This chick starts walking up to me. I'm hoping she has nothing bad to report cuz she couldn't possibly be coming over to chat -- I mean, I have a phone pressed up to my ear...
Phone friend wasn't home -- which was a good thing since Neighbor chick is now sitting on my front porch. Okay, I know I'm a Damn Yankee and all, but is this normal down here??
Okay, whatever. I should meet my neighbors anyway, right? Especially since my 10 year old is holding her 8 month old baby...
Anyways - She said the most random things. You'll see.
Neighbor: (from here on it will just be N) My husband broke my phone last night.
Me: (what the hell am I supposed to say to that??) ...
(Pause)
Me: (Brain kicked in) Do you need to use the phone? Go ahead. *pointing to it laying next to her*
N: Yes. I had two doctor's appointments today, but I couldn't call them.
N: (Makes a call to the dentist)
N: One of my appointments was to see if I'm pregnant again.
Me: *Look of total surprise* Really? (Yeah, I know - genius response.)
N: Yeah, I missed my birth control shot.
Me: Do you want to have another kid? (For those of you that don't know, this is usually your safest bet for a response. "Congrats!" isn't always appropriate.)
N: I'd like to have a girl. But I asked my husband about it the other night, and he said 'No', so I cried all night. (Case in point)
Me: (wondering why she is telling me this) Well, maybe you aren't pregnant.
N: I think I am. The way the birth control shot works is like a fertility drug. As soon as you miss it, you ovulate.
Me: (Haven't these two ever heard of condoms???) Oh, yeah, you need to find out. *trying really hard to care*
About this time, she picks up the phone to call the doctor. I couldn't figure out why she didn't call him right after she called the dentist, but...
While she's on the phone, I'm talking to my kid, reminding her not to let the dogs lick the baby's face. Gross, I know. Well, so are babies.
After she gets off the phone, I say something lame about the dogs just learning how to be on leashes or something like that. Everything else that was running through my head was offensive. Sue me. Geez.
N: I work at McDonald's.
Me: (What is the proper response to that?) Oh, here in Newport?
N: Yes.
(What a great conversation that was!)
Now at some point during all this, she informed me that one of our neighbors is an asshole. She knows this cuz her husband's sister-in-law's cousin's friend (or some other convoluted string of people) was married to him. Well, I'm convinced.
She finally decides it's time to go -- mostly cuz my kid wants to bring her baby to his house. Fine by me.
As she's walking away, she looks back over her shoulder, "Oh, by the way, my name is S______." I introduce myself, and then begin the procedure of getting my head back on straight.
We were just on two different wavelengths. Was it because she is still young and dumb? Was it because I have never felt the need to get to know my neighbors? Was the baby creeping me out too much? Who can say? Maybe it was just one of those things. I guess I'll find out when we speak again.
But I really want to know why she felt the need to tell me her husband broke her phone, she may be pregnant, her husband doesn't like the idea and she spent a night crying, where she works, and then last, but not least, her name. I can see the name thing, and saying that her phone was broken (she could leave out the fact that her husband did it), maybe stupid stuff about the move... Ya know, 'getting to know you' stuff. Cuz she didn't know me. At all. I just don't understand. If any of you can explain it to me, I'm all ears.
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I stepped outside to have a cigarette. I had the phone with me, because I was calling someone. Duh. (A friend and I had been playing phone tag for a couple days.)
This chick starts walking up to me. I'm hoping she has nothing bad to report cuz she couldn't possibly be coming over to chat -- I mean, I have a phone pressed up to my ear...
Phone friend wasn't home -- which was a good thing since Neighbor chick is now sitting on my front porch. Okay, I know I'm a Damn Yankee and all, but is this normal down here??
Okay, whatever. I should meet my neighbors anyway, right? Especially since my 10 year old is holding her 8 month old baby...
Anyways - She said the most random things. You'll see.
Neighbor: (from here on it will just be N) My husband broke my phone last night.
Me: (what the hell am I supposed to say to that??) ...
(Pause)
Me: (Brain kicked in) Do you need to use the phone? Go ahead. *pointing to it laying next to her*
N: Yes. I had two doctor's appointments today, but I couldn't call them.
N: (Makes a call to the dentist)
N: One of my appointments was to see if I'm pregnant again.
Me: *Look of total surprise* Really? (Yeah, I know - genius response.)
N: Yeah, I missed my birth control shot.
Me: Do you want to have another kid? (For those of you that don't know, this is usually your safest bet for a response. "Congrats!" isn't always appropriate.)
N: I'd like to have a girl. But I asked my husband about it the other night, and he said 'No', so I cried all night. (Case in point)
Me: (wondering why she is telling me this) Well, maybe you aren't pregnant.
N: I think I am. The way the birth control shot works is like a fertility drug. As soon as you miss it, you ovulate.
Me: (Haven't these two ever heard of condoms???) Oh, yeah, you need to find out. *trying really hard to care*
About this time, she picks up the phone to call the doctor. I couldn't figure out why she didn't call him right after she called the dentist, but...
While she's on the phone, I'm talking to my kid, reminding her not to let the dogs lick the baby's face. Gross, I know. Well, so are babies.
After she gets off the phone, I say something lame about the dogs just learning how to be on leashes or something like that. Everything else that was running through my head was offensive. Sue me. Geez.
N: I work at McDonald's.
Me: (What is the proper response to that?) Oh, here in Newport?
N: Yes.
(What a great conversation that was!)
Now at some point during all this, she informed me that one of our neighbors is an asshole. She knows this cuz her husband's sister-in-law's cousin's friend (or some other convoluted string of people) was married to him. Well, I'm convinced.
She finally decides it's time to go -- mostly cuz my kid wants to bring her baby to his house. Fine by me.
As she's walking away, she looks back over her shoulder, "Oh, by the way, my name is S______." I introduce myself, and then begin the procedure of getting my head back on straight.
We were just on two different wavelengths. Was it because she is still young and dumb? Was it because I have never felt the need to get to know my neighbors? Was the baby creeping me out too much? Who can say? Maybe it was just one of those things. I guess I'll find out when we speak again.
But I really want to know why she felt the need to tell me her husband broke her phone, she may be pregnant, her husband doesn't like the idea and she spent a night crying, where she works, and then last, but not least, her name. I can see the name thing, and saying that her phone was broken (she could leave out the fact that her husband did it), maybe stupid stuff about the move... Ya know, 'getting to know you' stuff. Cuz she didn't know me. At all. I just don't understand. If any of you can explain it to me, I'm all ears.
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Click, drag, and drop. Then do it again... and again...
I promise this is SO worth it!!!
Thanks, Cricket!! I need to know where you found this!
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Thanks, Cricket!! I need to know where you found this!
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