Thursday, January 13, 2005

Me, Zombie...


This is how I feel Posted by Hello

It's about flippin' time the Create Posts thing worked!


Anyway, I was really looking forward to last night. I spent the entire day exhausted knowing that I would go right to sleep, and be back on track. I was having trouble keeping my temper under control (because of sleep dep), and all sorts of emotional problems. I am pretty proud that I mostly kept them in check.
Bedtime rolls around and BAM!!! Let me say that again: BAM!

BAM!

BAM!
I was wide fucking awake. The kind of wide awake little kids are on Christmas morning. The kind of awake when you have just exited a spa and never felt better. The kind of awake I seriously didn't want to be.

So once again, I go to bed, stay awake for hours, and had trouble getting up to see my kid off to school.

After the bus left, I decided to finish my coffee, and then go back to sleep. I get horizontal on the couch, listened to the radio morning show, balanced my coffee mug on my chest, and prepared to drink it.



Two and a half hours later (9:30am) I wake up to me tilting the coffee cup towards my body, and spilling it all over my clothes. Of course my first thought was "It's still warm." -- then I realized what was going on. I had passed out so fast and so hard that it took 2 1/2 hours for me to even move. I mean, I know I sleep like the dead, but not moving at all? Not even to go limp???
After noticing my shirt was all wet, and setting the mug on the floor, did I get up to change my shirt? Nope. I was too tired to get up, and take the wet thing off. I actually did that a few times over the next few hours -- wake up, notice shirt was wet, think I should change, and just the thought of getting up made me pass out again.
To all you concerned ones out there: I did finally sit up, and take the shirt off. Then I had to sit for a while before I could muster the energy to stand and find a new shirt. In the process of this, I noticed the side of my pants were wet also. Damn, more work. So, there I am, in my bedroom, naked except for my socks, and I think : "I may as well take a shower, I'm already halfway there." See, folks, I haven't been able to muster the energy for that either. At least not during the day when it wouldn't disturb anyone.... Middle of the night was a different story. I could have danced the cha cha for hours, and still had energy left over. But the rest of the people in my household actually can fall asleep at night, and it would be very cruel for me to disturb them. Especially when they had what I so desperately wanted.

So here I am. Awake, but sleepy. Dreading bedtime when I'll wake up. Exhausted to the point where breathing sounds like work. Feeling like the car in my picture. Wanting coffee (just for the comforting warmness of it). Showered. Happy about being clean. And, most of all, trying to solve my little problem. Maybe I need to leave the house, and stay awake all night being active -- I don't know.
What will knock some sense into this sleep schedule of mine???



3 comments:

~J~ said...

Great. Not only do I feel like that picture, but I can't blog about it because 'URL Not Found'! I can do anything else -- change template, view blog, etc. I can't Edit or Create New Post...

*screaming from the mountaintops!!!!!*

Anonymous said...

Hey, zombiegirl. Here's a radical idea...don't hit me...you might wanna lay off the caffiene. Your metabolism might be changing. Just a thought.
*duck and run* ~S

~J~ said...

You can duck and run, but I know where you live!!!

About the caffeine though: That sounds like a good theory, except for one thing. The last couple of days I've had very little. I couldn't muster up the energy to make a pot. :) Or even reheat what was there. Sad, isn't it?
I miss my coffee...